I've been keeping River and myself very busy lately! Every day has been filled with either working, errands, or adventures. We've done something involving considerable (2 or more hours in the car) driving every weekend for the past six or more weeks.
This weekend I wanted some time at home without any plans, so I purposefully left Friday and Saturday completely blank in my planner (other than a reminder that I need to do laundry, which is currently sitting downstairs being forgotten about >.< ). I'm regretting it!
River's obsession with Sesame Street has led to every moment at home being a battle to get her away from the TV. I can either give in and get things done with the time that she spends zombified, or I can fight her.
To give her credit, she's not a total zombie. Yes, sometimes she gets that glazed look in her eyes where I can tell that her brain has stopped working, but very often she's up in front of the TV dancing or pointing to body parts or otherwise "interacting" with Elmo and the other characters.
I've been finding myself, very often today, thinking of errands that I could devise even though they aren't completely necessary or of places we could go just for a change of scenery and a bit more separation from the TV. I think we might be going out today...
Just another Single Hippie Feminist Full-Time Mother's Blog
Showing posts with label frustrations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustrations. Show all posts
Friday, February 24, 2012
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Why we DO NOT buy Elmo books.
I posted earlier about TV rules, which included a lot about how obsessed River is with Sesame Street, Elmo in particular. Not only does she ask for Elmo whenever she wants to watch TV, we also have a little plush Elmo (surprisingly hard to find when shopping amongst all of the plastic moving talking singing Elmos). This Elmo comes everywhere with us, and I've even been forced to nurse it more times than I'd like to admit.
Today we went to a big-name book store to exchange one of our late Hanukkah presents and was completely unsuccessful. The trip turned into a huge battle between River pointing out every single Elmo or Sesame Street related product, some from across the store (at least I know her eyesight is good), and me trying my hardest not to buy any of these products.
As far as branding goes, I don't mind Sesame Street so much. The show tends to be educational, doesn't include a ton of fast flashing scene changes (which can be hard for young minds to keep up with but doesn't let their attention leave it), and according to their commercial they put all the money generated from their products back into producing Sesame Street in a ton of other countries.
But what I don't want is an Elmo book. Let me explain:
Today we went to a big-name book store to exchange one of our late Hanukkah presents and was completely unsuccessful. The trip turned into a huge battle between River pointing out every single Elmo or Sesame Street related product, some from across the store (at least I know her eyesight is good), and me trying my hardest not to buy any of these products.
As far as branding goes, I don't mind Sesame Street so much. The show tends to be educational, doesn't include a ton of fast flashing scene changes (which can be hard for young minds to keep up with but doesn't let their attention leave it), and according to their commercial they put all the money generated from their products back into producing Sesame Street in a ton of other countries.
But what I don't want is an Elmo book. Let me explain:
- There are plenty of shows on TV, but River only wants Elmo.
- There are plenty of stuffed toys in our house, but River only wants to play with Elmo.
- At the library and stores River can spot Elmo from across a crowded room.
- On the back of her Tag Junior books (a purchase that I am not so proud of) there's a picture of one of their other books, it has Elmo on it, so she points and yells "ELMO!" repeatedly but doesn't bother to open the book.
- She has multiple pairs of pj's, but she only wants to wear the pair that my mother made her that has Elmo on them. (Great way to ensure that your PJ's are her favorite, mom)
This all leads me to believe that, if I were to let an Elmo book enter our house, that it would be the ONLY book she would read. She would bring it to me night and day, and force me to repeat the book over and over until she had it memorized.
While an attachment to a certain book would not be the worst thing, I would much rather the attachment come from the story rather than recognition of a certain fuzzy red character.
Thursday, March 03, 2011
River's health concerns
Recently, I took a hiatus from blogging that lasted longer than anticipated. It began due to some scares we had with River's health. Specifically, she fell off the weight charts. Not like she was low on it, not like she was just a little underweight, she had NO CURVE. She was growing in length, she seemed ok mentally and was developing well, but she was SKINNY.
Now, I'm no large person. Actually, I have a pretty standard explanation that I have to give doctors along the lines of, "no, I'm not anorexic or bulimic, I'd love to gain weight, but I just can't seem to." That said, I didn't really panic when she was seeming skinnier than most.
It took some pretty, in my opinion, immature behavior on the part of my family to make me finally see that there was a real issue with her weight. Specifically, during a family trip, my entire extended family apparently 'had a discussion' about River's weight, and while they were all perfectly fine with critiquing my parenting decisions (specifically attachment parenting) none of the talked to me about her weight. Instead, after everyone got home from the trip, my grandmother called me and my mother had a discussion with me about it.
They were right, she was underweight and was starting to look sick because of it. So I took her to the doctor. The doctor wanted us to see a specialist, but during the wait for my (now) ex to get insurance, I changed her diet and she started gaining weight regularly again. We still don't have insurance (thanks to the ex), but she's gaining so steadily that our family practitioner is satisfied with just keeping a close eye on her to make sure that she doesn't plateau again.
I'm not going to get into the whole ex thing yet, that's a post all its own.
Anyways, after the first visit, my mother decided to tell me that one of my uncles had actually threatened to call DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services) on us because of her weight. There is some disagreement about whether he was actually earnest or was just offering to drop the shoe to get me to take River to the doctor (which I guess they didn't think I would do for some reason). Either way, he seemed to think it was a valid threat to make, and my mother seemed to think the threat was needed even after the fact.
Needless to say I WAS LIVID. It was a medical issue, we took her to the doctor as soon as someone talked to me about it in a serious way and I realized that there actually was an issue, and in NO way should that warrant a call to DCFS. Not to mention the fact that my uncle's son has ALWAYS been larger than normal, so he doesn't exactly have a standard basis of comparison.
Setting all bitching aside, River is now steadily gaining weight and is approaching a normal weight, looking healthier, showing no developmental setbacks, and has some amazing chubby baby cheeks! Now I just make sure that she's eating at least three big meals per day, getting a variety of foods, and continuing to gain.
(only a couple days after the first doctor appointment, when we were still terrified, was when I found out my ex was cheating on me >.< it was quite a blow)
 |
| River in October, 2010 |
Now, I'm no large person. Actually, I have a pretty standard explanation that I have to give doctors along the lines of, "no, I'm not anorexic or bulimic, I'd love to gain weight, but I just can't seem to." That said, I didn't really panic when she was seeming skinnier than most.
It took some pretty, in my opinion, immature behavior on the part of my family to make me finally see that there was a real issue with her weight. Specifically, during a family trip, my entire extended family apparently 'had a discussion' about River's weight, and while they were all perfectly fine with critiquing my parenting decisions (specifically attachment parenting) none of the talked to me about her weight. Instead, after everyone got home from the trip, my grandmother called me and my mother had a discussion with me about it.
They were right, she was underweight and was starting to look sick because of it. So I took her to the doctor. The doctor wanted us to see a specialist, but during the wait for my (now) ex to get insurance, I changed her diet and she started gaining weight regularly again. We still don't have insurance (thanks to the ex), but she's gaining so steadily that our family practitioner is satisfied with just keeping a close eye on her to make sure that she doesn't plateau again.
 |
| More recently, look at those cheeks! |
I'm not going to get into the whole ex thing yet, that's a post all its own.
Anyways, after the first visit, my mother decided to tell me that one of my uncles had actually threatened to call DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services) on us because of her weight. There is some disagreement about whether he was actually earnest or was just offering to drop the shoe to get me to take River to the doctor (which I guess they didn't think I would do for some reason). Either way, he seemed to think it was a valid threat to make, and my mother seemed to think the threat was needed even after the fact.
Needless to say I WAS LIVID. It was a medical issue, we took her to the doctor as soon as someone talked to me about it in a serious way and I realized that there actually was an issue, and in NO way should that warrant a call to DCFS. Not to mention the fact that my uncle's son has ALWAYS been larger than normal, so he doesn't exactly have a standard basis of comparison.
Setting all bitching aside, River is now steadily gaining weight and is approaching a normal weight, looking healthier, showing no developmental setbacks, and has some amazing chubby baby cheeks! Now I just make sure that she's eating at least three big meals per day, getting a variety of foods, and continuing to gain.
(only a couple days after the first doctor appointment, when we were still terrified, was when I found out my ex was cheating on me >.< it was quite a blow)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
More on my hunt for a doctor..
Since the post I made about being unhappy with our family practitioner for River, I've been on the hunt. After some research online and some unreturned phone calls, I made an appointment to meet with a family practitioner in the area we just moved to.
She was a pretty cool 30-something year old osteopathic family practitioner. Unfortunately, although she seemed more open than most doctors, I still am not entirely happy. My unhappiness probably has more to do with my distrust of the medical profession in general and my beliefs against overmedicalization.
I had been so happy with the midwifery model of care that I think it's going to be hard to ever go back to the medical model when dealing with a healthy baby.
She was a pretty cool 30-something year old osteopathic family practitioner. Unfortunately, although she seemed more open than most doctors, I still am not entirely happy. My unhappiness probably has more to do with my distrust of the medical profession in general and my beliefs against overmedicalization.
I had been so happy with the midwifery model of care that I think it's going to be hard to ever go back to the medical model when dealing with a healthy baby.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
unsolicited advice
I've heard unsolicited advice and comments throughout my pregnancy, and I really wish I had kept better records of all the silly comments. So, in light of that, I'm going to be keeping track here of the stupid comments I get from people when I have River.
(I'm not going to write about every pervy look I get while I'm breast feeding in public, that would take too long, but suffice it to say, there are MANY!)
The other day I was in Jewel with a couple friends. We decided to take a walk to the grocery store to pick up a couple ingredients that I needed to make dinner. We were outside in the heat (about 90 degrees) for a good 15 minutes there and 15 minutes back, and must have spent about 5 minutes in the store total. River was just in a diaper and in my sling. At one point during the walk, she started getting fussy in the sling, so I took her out to avoid her overheating. We were in Jewel, standing in the produce department, I was breastfeeding River. An old lady with some indistinguishable accent walked up to us and started lecturing me. She told me that my baby was cold, was going to get pneumonia, etc... at one point, after realizing exactly what was going on (this was my first public lecture) I turned to her, called her a rude old lady, and kept shopping. She said that she had never seen anybody do that with a baby, and walked away. I saw her a couple other times while we were still in the store, she would shoot me these evil glares and then keep walking. Unfortunately the two friends I was with didn't know what was going on until to told them later, otherwise I think they would have stood up for me.
Another day I was sitting in my car reading while River sat on my lap. J and his friend were in a magic store getting some more tricks for him to use at work. I had gotten tired of standing and really wanted to get a little further in my book, and with the nice breeze outside, I didn't mind sitting and waiting. After a little while a car parked in the space next to me, and out came an older lady, a younger lady, and two kids. The older lady, after noticing me in the car, proceeded to beckon over one of the little girls and told her to look at my 'baby boy'. I don't mind gender mix-ups as River is usually dressed pretty gender neutral. Eventually while they asked questions and I answered with a fake smile plastered on my face like a good little mommy, I slipped in that River is a girl. The old lady then asked why she was wearing shorts and "where is her little dressie?" I was amazed, and she was serious. I snapped back (at this point I was annoyed that she was sticking her head in my car and interrupting my reading) that the women's liberation movement happened a while back and that I was a big fan. She stormed away in a huff and actually scolded me, saying "well, I Never!"
The most recent occurance happened yesterday and to my friend Tom instead of me. Tom, his girlfriend, and I were in a Teavana picking out some tea and other products. Tom was at the counter at one point when a middle-aged man walked up to him and started talking to him about 'his wife and child'. Tom politely corrected him, that I was not his wife. After some insisting that I was, and then finally realizing that I wasn't, he gave him a really confused look and said 'then you'd better get a lawyer!" Yup. Because how dare a married woman with a baby be friends with a guy!
Anyone else have experience with unsolicited advice or comments? I know I had a ton when I was pregnant (usually about how high or low I was carrying and how it must be a boy or a girl). Lately it seems like i'm getting more judgemental looks than comments, but I still get a few really golden ones -sarcasm-
(I'm not going to write about every pervy look I get while I'm breast feeding in public, that would take too long, but suffice it to say, there are MANY!)
The other day I was in Jewel with a couple friends. We decided to take a walk to the grocery store to pick up a couple ingredients that I needed to make dinner. We were outside in the heat (about 90 degrees) for a good 15 minutes there and 15 minutes back, and must have spent about 5 minutes in the store total. River was just in a diaper and in my sling. At one point during the walk, she started getting fussy in the sling, so I took her out to avoid her overheating. We were in Jewel, standing in the produce department, I was breastfeeding River. An old lady with some indistinguishable accent walked up to us and started lecturing me. She told me that my baby was cold, was going to get pneumonia, etc... at one point, after realizing exactly what was going on (this was my first public lecture) I turned to her, called her a rude old lady, and kept shopping. She said that she had never seen anybody do that with a baby, and walked away. I saw her a couple other times while we were still in the store, she would shoot me these evil glares and then keep walking. Unfortunately the two friends I was with didn't know what was going on until to told them later, otherwise I think they would have stood up for me.
Another day I was sitting in my car reading while River sat on my lap. J and his friend were in a magic store getting some more tricks for him to use at work. I had gotten tired of standing and really wanted to get a little further in my book, and with the nice breeze outside, I didn't mind sitting and waiting. After a little while a car parked in the space next to me, and out came an older lady, a younger lady, and two kids. The older lady, after noticing me in the car, proceeded to beckon over one of the little girls and told her to look at my 'baby boy'. I don't mind gender mix-ups as River is usually dressed pretty gender neutral. Eventually while they asked questions and I answered with a fake smile plastered on my face like a good little mommy, I slipped in that River is a girl. The old lady then asked why she was wearing shorts and "where is her little dressie?" I was amazed, and she was serious. I snapped back (at this point I was annoyed that she was sticking her head in my car and interrupting my reading) that the women's liberation movement happened a while back and that I was a big fan. She stormed away in a huff and actually scolded me, saying "well, I Never!"
The most recent occurance happened yesterday and to my friend Tom instead of me. Tom, his girlfriend, and I were in a Teavana picking out some tea and other products. Tom was at the counter at one point when a middle-aged man walked up to him and started talking to him about 'his wife and child'. Tom politely corrected him, that I was not his wife. After some insisting that I was, and then finally realizing that I wasn't, he gave him a really confused look and said 'then you'd better get a lawyer!" Yup. Because how dare a married woman with a baby be friends with a guy!
Anyone else have experience with unsolicited advice or comments? I know I had a ton when I was pregnant (usually about how high or low I was carrying and how it must be a boy or a girl). Lately it seems like i'm getting more judgemental looks than comments, but I still get a few really golden ones -sarcasm-
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Dreaded Baby Shower :-)
I haven't posted in a while, mostly out of sheer insane busyness.
The 10th was the dreaded baby shower. I have to admit that it went surprisingly well! We did the onesie decorating activity that was featured on OffbeatMama.com and everyone loved it. I didn't get too much that was obnoxious and pink, just a few things.
One problem I had was with what appeared to be critiques of my parenting style. I've been practicing attachment parenting and on-demand feeding. This basically means that River is on me all the time and she's usually got a boob in her mouth. Unfortunately, the only time these parenting styles seem to be an issue instead of an amazing thing is when I'm around family. They all want to hold River all the time! I'm sorry, but when River is asking for food, telling me she's hungry, I'd rather get her the food she wants before she starts crying instead of waiting until she's too worked up to suck properly. When River is asleep and using my boob as a pacifier, I'm not about to break that and wake her up. I got a lot of comments from people who were amazed about how much I let her nurse and how attached she is to me. It might have been paranoia, but it really felt like everyone was critiquing my parenting decisions. At one point I even had to tell someone that my parenting decisions are not up for discussion.
Otherwise things went really well! J's family mostly stayed separate from mine except during the decorating activity, but I've learned to accept that as probably being for the best. I forgot my camera, so I spent the day without a lens in front of my face, again probably for the best. And River even slept through most of it!
I did get a surprisingly long period of time without River attached to me, for the first time since she was born! My grandmother (aka: Momo) has some serious baby super-powers! The second she holds River, River is passed out on her shoulder! I couldn't believe it! I tried to take major advantage of the time but kept finding myself going back to check on River and make sure she really was ok.
Well, sorry I don't have any pictures! I'll take pics of the onesies when I get them back from my mom.
The 10th was the dreaded baby shower. I have to admit that it went surprisingly well! We did the onesie decorating activity that was featured on OffbeatMama.com and everyone loved it. I didn't get too much that was obnoxious and pink, just a few things.
One problem I had was with what appeared to be critiques of my parenting style. I've been practicing attachment parenting and on-demand feeding. This basically means that River is on me all the time and she's usually got a boob in her mouth. Unfortunately, the only time these parenting styles seem to be an issue instead of an amazing thing is when I'm around family. They all want to hold River all the time! I'm sorry, but when River is asking for food, telling me she's hungry, I'd rather get her the food she wants before she starts crying instead of waiting until she's too worked up to suck properly. When River is asleep and using my boob as a pacifier, I'm not about to break that and wake her up. I got a lot of comments from people who were amazed about how much I let her nurse and how attached she is to me. It might have been paranoia, but it really felt like everyone was critiquing my parenting decisions. At one point I even had to tell someone that my parenting decisions are not up for discussion.
Otherwise things went really well! J's family mostly stayed separate from mine except during the decorating activity, but I've learned to accept that as probably being for the best. I forgot my camera, so I spent the day without a lens in front of my face, again probably for the best. And River even slept through most of it!
I did get a surprisingly long period of time without River attached to me, for the first time since she was born! My grandmother (aka: Momo) has some serious baby super-powers! The second she holds River, River is passed out on her shoulder! I couldn't believe it! I tried to take major advantage of the time but kept finding myself going back to check on River and make sure she really was ok.
Well, sorry I don't have any pictures! I'll take pics of the onesies when I get them back from my mom.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Stretch Marks
I have posted here a few times about my frustrations with society's assumptions, mostly regarding pregnancy. Well, there's a new one.
I like my stretch marks. I wear them with pride. I've heard a lot of advice on how to get rid of them. It seems that there is a whole slew of products made just for me! Well, me if I wanted to get rid of the scars. There's oils and lotions and pills and herbal remedies, etc, etc.
Me though? When I decided to get pregnant I signed up for everything that went along with it. I signed up for the sleepless nights, the crying baby, the feeling of constantly being needed. I even signed up for the stretch marks.
I feel like I should have something I can show off, like "look what I did, I got so big that I split at the seams!" I look at my stretch marks and I see an accomplishment, I see a reminder of my wonderful uncomplicated pregnancy where I tried really hard to take good care of myself, I see a reminder of my wonderful labor and delivery where I managed to do everything without any drugs or medical interventions.
So after you comment on my large, still red stretch marks, when I say that I'm not looking to get rid of my stretch marks, that is not an invitation to keep telling me about whatever magical remedy you are convinced I need to be using. That is not an invitation to tell me about how I will want them gone. And it is definitely not an invitation for that chuckle that says "aw, that's cute, but you're not serious". I got that same laugh when I talked about unmedicated delivery and I went through with that just fine.
In the end, I just don't feel like I need to be told to hate my own body.
I like my stretch marks. I wear them with pride. I've heard a lot of advice on how to get rid of them. It seems that there is a whole slew of products made just for me! Well, me if I wanted to get rid of the scars. There's oils and lotions and pills and herbal remedies, etc, etc.
Me though? When I decided to get pregnant I signed up for everything that went along with it. I signed up for the sleepless nights, the crying baby, the feeling of constantly being needed. I even signed up for the stretch marks.
I feel like I should have something I can show off, like "look what I did, I got so big that I split at the seams!" I look at my stretch marks and I see an accomplishment, I see a reminder of my wonderful uncomplicated pregnancy where I tried really hard to take good care of myself, I see a reminder of my wonderful labor and delivery where I managed to do everything without any drugs or medical interventions.
So after you comment on my large, still red stretch marks, when I say that I'm not looking to get rid of my stretch marks, that is not an invitation to keep telling me about whatever magical remedy you are convinced I need to be using. That is not an invitation to tell me about how I will want them gone. And it is definitely not an invitation for that chuckle that says "aw, that's cute, but you're not serious". I got that same laugh when I talked about unmedicated delivery and I went through with that just fine.
In the end, I just don't feel like I need to be told to hate my own body.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Baby Shower Finally Figured Out ^.^
This is a follow-up to my post HERE about my baby shower frustrations.
My mother decided to throw me a baby shower now that little River is here. This follows some of the Jewish tradition by waiting until after the baby was born, and still lets me have a baby shower. My husband and some other men of our generation were invited and are expected to attend, which we're really glad about. We're sad that there weren't even numbers of men and women invited, but there would have been if space was not a concern. I'm really glad that my mom took some of my advice and is planning on having the Onesie Decoration Activity.
As far as buying things for the baby goes, we went ahead and got most of the things that we felt we needed already. There were a few things that we decided that we didn't need that my MIL (mother in law) got us (another case of 'knowing better'). But either way, there's not much left that we need. Honestly, I'm kind of happy about this, because I ended up getting a lot of the stuff used or super-cheap, and because it means that I can register for things that I want and wouldn't otherwise get (like a baby-food making system).
(this is mostly just in response to my old post, not really associated with the shower any more) I have to say, now that I had the natural birth that I was planning, I've been getting an amazingly positive response! I think the fact that so many people who did not think I could do it has led to some real surprise! Although I have been corrected that not ALL of my family was unsupportive, I have to say I wish that there was more positivity when I was pregnant instead of just after I had proven I could do it.
I'm just hoping now that family members can be supportive of my parenting choices. I've heard some disparaging remarks about on-demand-feeding and cosleeping, but am set on the decisions I've made. Although I think the 15-min every 2 hours schedule might be easier on the mom, I don't think this is the best route for babies. Babies do not live by a schedule.
The issues with the MIL not wanting to plan the shower and complaining about the wedding shower have not quite been quelled, though we are getting there. She came to visit for dinner one day last week, and started complaining about some family friends that had not been invited. Please keep in mind that my mother was the one planning the shower, and that space was a concern when we pared down the guest list. Instead of staying silent and letting her complain like I normally do, I spoke up and told her that if she had thrown the shower herself, that she could have invited anyone that she wanted. I honestly can't believe I said that, I can say things like that to strangers and friends, but I have never been able to speak up like that to my in-laws! Still, I'm glad I did, and it worked. For that visit she didn't have anything else to say. Still, when we talked to her recently, she started up with pointing out that our registry info wasn't listed on the invites, etc...
All-in-all, I have to say that I'm actually looking forward to the shower! I think it'll be a good chance for everyone to get to meet River! I just have to get used to other people holding her and giving me all their parenting advice.
My mother decided to throw me a baby shower now that little River is here. This follows some of the Jewish tradition by waiting until after the baby was born, and still lets me have a baby shower. My husband and some other men of our generation were invited and are expected to attend, which we're really glad about. We're sad that there weren't even numbers of men and women invited, but there would have been if space was not a concern. I'm really glad that my mom took some of my advice and is planning on having the Onesie Decoration Activity.
As far as buying things for the baby goes, we went ahead and got most of the things that we felt we needed already. There were a few things that we decided that we didn't need that my MIL (mother in law) got us (another case of 'knowing better'). But either way, there's not much left that we need. Honestly, I'm kind of happy about this, because I ended up getting a lot of the stuff used or super-cheap, and because it means that I can register for things that I want and wouldn't otherwise get (like a baby-food making system).
(this is mostly just in response to my old post, not really associated with the shower any more) I have to say, now that I had the natural birth that I was planning, I've been getting an amazingly positive response! I think the fact that so many people who did not think I could do it has led to some real surprise! Although I have been corrected that not ALL of my family was unsupportive, I have to say I wish that there was more positivity when I was pregnant instead of just after I had proven I could do it.
I'm just hoping now that family members can be supportive of my parenting choices. I've heard some disparaging remarks about on-demand-feeding and cosleeping, but am set on the decisions I've made. Although I think the 15-min every 2 hours schedule might be easier on the mom, I don't think this is the best route for babies. Babies do not live by a schedule.
The issues with the MIL not wanting to plan the shower and complaining about the wedding shower have not quite been quelled, though we are getting there. She came to visit for dinner one day last week, and started complaining about some family friends that had not been invited. Please keep in mind that my mother was the one planning the shower, and that space was a concern when we pared down the guest list. Instead of staying silent and letting her complain like I normally do, I spoke up and told her that if she had thrown the shower herself, that she could have invited anyone that she wanted. I honestly can't believe I said that, I can say things like that to strangers and friends, but I have never been able to speak up like that to my in-laws! Still, I'm glad I did, and it worked. For that visit she didn't have anything else to say. Still, when we talked to her recently, she started up with pointing out that our registry info wasn't listed on the invites, etc...
All-in-all, I have to say that I'm actually looking forward to the shower! I think it'll be a good chance for everyone to get to meet River! I just have to get used to other people holding her and giving me all their parenting advice.
Why aren't there more midwife-type practitioners?
I think going through a midwife for my pregnancy was one of the best choices I ever made. I don't think I could have had anything close to my positive experience if I had chosen another type of health care provider. That said, I'm frustrated now. I'm frustrated that there aren't more professionals using the midwife philosophies in their practices. I'm so glad that I can keep going to my midwife group for my regular gynecological appointments, but I wish they could do more.
Much like pregnancy, I feel that the point of early pediatric appointments are to stand out of the way of the child's development and just monitor it to make sure that there are no issues. How does going to a medically trained pediatrician differ from going to an obstetrician for pregnancy?
I feel like the doctor, more often than not, is looking for something to be wrong. I feel like they can often let their own judgments get in the way of their practice. Every visit to my child's pediatrician has included her telling me that it's ok to use formula instead of breastfeeding even though I have told her my opinions and cited research that contradicts her. I have been less than honest with her about our decisions to cosleep and breastfeed on demand because I'm afraid that she will think less of my parenting (how stupid is that).
Recently the World Health Organization published a new set of size charts for babies who are specifically breastfed. My pediatrician, at our one week appointment, insisted that we bring River in for a two week appointment because she had decided that River wasn't gaining enough weight. She decided this based on her chart that was developed including formula fed babies, even though formula fed babies typically gain more weight and are more likely to be obese. I think I might have to print out these newer charts and bring them in.
I really shouldn't feel that I need to educate my child's pediatrician.
You might be asking why I'm not going to another pediatrician that shares my views about raising children and stays more up-to-date on research.. well, there's a couple reasons: (1) those pediatricians don't seem to exist in my area, or if they do, I can't seem to find them. (2) The doctor that we're seeing was my hubby's doctor when he was younger, and he has some attachment to the idea of River seeing her.
I have given in to seeing this doctor in particular because I feel that I am well-researched enough to counter her opinions with well-researched fact, but I worry about mothers who don't do their own research and follow everything that the doctor says.
Back to the original topic of this post: I don't see why there can't be a practitioner that functions more like a midwife. This would include a weigh-in, some simple measurements, maybe some occasional testing, but mostly just a check-in. This would include talking to me like I'm an adult who might have some knowledge or at least know how to read instead of like a child who would be hopeless without the doctor's guidance. This would include getting to know us as a family instead of just River's statistics in her file. This would include telling us about a procedure, vaccine, or concern instead of just telling us what the doctor recommends. Why can't we have more medical practitioners like that?
Much like pregnancy, I feel that the point of early pediatric appointments are to stand out of the way of the child's development and just monitor it to make sure that there are no issues. How does going to a medically trained pediatrician differ from going to an obstetrician for pregnancy?
I feel like the doctor, more often than not, is looking for something to be wrong. I feel like they can often let their own judgments get in the way of their practice. Every visit to my child's pediatrician has included her telling me that it's ok to use formula instead of breastfeeding even though I have told her my opinions and cited research that contradicts her. I have been less than honest with her about our decisions to cosleep and breastfeed on demand because I'm afraid that she will think less of my parenting (how stupid is that).
Recently the World Health Organization published a new set of size charts for babies who are specifically breastfed. My pediatrician, at our one week appointment, insisted that we bring River in for a two week appointment because she had decided that River wasn't gaining enough weight. She decided this based on her chart that was developed including formula fed babies, even though formula fed babies typically gain more weight and are more likely to be obese. I think I might have to print out these newer charts and bring them in.
I really shouldn't feel that I need to educate my child's pediatrician.
You might be asking why I'm not going to another pediatrician that shares my views about raising children and stays more up-to-date on research.. well, there's a couple reasons: (1) those pediatricians don't seem to exist in my area, or if they do, I can't seem to find them. (2) The doctor that we're seeing was my hubby's doctor when he was younger, and he has some attachment to the idea of River seeing her.
I have given in to seeing this doctor in particular because I feel that I am well-researched enough to counter her opinions with well-researched fact, but I worry about mothers who don't do their own research and follow everything that the doctor says.
Back to the original topic of this post: I don't see why there can't be a practitioner that functions more like a midwife. This would include a weigh-in, some simple measurements, maybe some occasional testing, but mostly just a check-in. This would include talking to me like I'm an adult who might have some knowledge or at least know how to read instead of like a child who would be hopeless without the doctor's guidance. This would include getting to know us as a family instead of just River's statistics in her file. This would include telling us about a procedure, vaccine, or concern instead of just telling us what the doctor recommends. Why can't we have more medical practitioners like that?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Life is Pretty Good
I've been having a hard time posting since River's birth. Not for lack of time, I've had plenty, but because I just find it so much easier to post when I have something to complain about!
J has been amazing. Not only through labor and delivery, but since then. Whenever I have any sort of issue, he's always there to take care of me. He changes practically all of the diapers (my abdominal muscles are still really sore) and takes River whenever I start getting frustrated. He is coping really well with the fact that River is almost always attached to me (she's a hungry little thing) and that feeding is just not something he can participate in at the moment (we're looking into borrowing or buying a pump). When he is holding her, I can't help but smile as he gets lost gazing at her, or does some of the stupidest things to try and get her to smile.
River has been amazing. She's a quiet little thing, and although she is hungry and can nurse for HOURS (literally, i'm not kidding) she's good about telling us that she's uncomfortable before breaking into a full-blown cry. I've already gotten pretty skilled in deciphering what's making her cry. There have only been a few times (I can still count them on one hand) where I've gotten frustrated, and most of that has just been because of sleep deprivation (she still has her days and nights flipped, and I'm not the best at napping during the day). She sleeps on my chest at night and I often find myself falling asleep while she nurses to wake up an hour later to her demanding more boob.
The only issues that I have are related to my physical recovery. It's going sloooowly. I'm still sore, shaky, bleeding, and overall feeling like I got hit by a truck. People who know me know that I have a really hard time with not being able to do something.. it just makes me want to do it more. Most also know that I have a really really hard time asking for help. J keeps being reminded of this when it takes a full blown breakdown on my part just to ask for some snuggles (as happened a couple nights ago).
Right now though, I have a sleeping baby on my chest and a computer in front of me. If J were at home instead of at work, all would be right with my world. And tomorrow is my 2-week followup appointment with my most favoritest midwife ^.^
J has been amazing. Not only through labor and delivery, but since then. Whenever I have any sort of issue, he's always there to take care of me. He changes practically all of the diapers (my abdominal muscles are still really sore) and takes River whenever I start getting frustrated. He is coping really well with the fact that River is almost always attached to me (she's a hungry little thing) and that feeding is just not something he can participate in at the moment (we're looking into borrowing or buying a pump). When he is holding her, I can't help but smile as he gets lost gazing at her, or does some of the stupidest things to try and get her to smile.
River has been amazing. She's a quiet little thing, and although she is hungry and can nurse for HOURS (literally, i'm not kidding) she's good about telling us that she's uncomfortable before breaking into a full-blown cry. I've already gotten pretty skilled in deciphering what's making her cry. There have only been a few times (I can still count them on one hand) where I've gotten frustrated, and most of that has just been because of sleep deprivation (she still has her days and nights flipped, and I'm not the best at napping during the day). She sleeps on my chest at night and I often find myself falling asleep while she nurses to wake up an hour later to her demanding more boob.
The only issues that I have are related to my physical recovery. It's going sloooowly. I'm still sore, shaky, bleeding, and overall feeling like I got hit by a truck. People who know me know that I have a really hard time with not being able to do something.. it just makes me want to do it more. Most also know that I have a really really hard time asking for help. J keeps being reminded of this when it takes a full blown breakdown on my part just to ask for some snuggles (as happened a couple nights ago).
Right now though, I have a sleeping baby on my chest and a computer in front of me. If J were at home instead of at work, all would be right with my world. And tomorrow is my 2-week followup appointment with my most favoritest midwife ^.^
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
After Birth
Throughout pregnancy, and even before it, it seems like every woman wants to share her stories about pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Everyone has their gruesome tales and their unasked for advice. Seriously, I've met people who go on for hours about whatever horror took place during their delivery, as if that was supposed to help me not be terrified for mine. But no one told me about what happened after!
There are even tons of websites devoted to pregnancy, most focusing on the baby, but some focusing primarily on the mother. And none of the websites that I was reading mentioned even momentarily what to expect for after labor. American Pregnancy Association, the website that I frequented most often because of its no-nonsense scientific approach to discussing pregnancy (though I wasn't so appreciative of their very gender-stereotypical advice for mom's partner), DID include a section on After Pregnancy, but this section focused only on the baby, with a small bit focusing on postpartum depression. Yes, PPD is very serious, and needs a lot of attention, but it's a hot topic. You can find information about it anywhere (hell, there's usually even an article about it on CNN's health section's top 5 articles).
What I didn't hear anything about was aftercare for any tears, about the bleeding, clotting, etc., about the soreness that stays with you for weeks, about the utter exhaustion that it never feels like you get a chance to recover from (after all, I'm this baby's only source of food), about the pelvic pain, about feeling like your organs are sloshing around in you, etc.
Keep in mind that I only called my midwives once during pregnancy, and that was to get their permission to travel to Michigan during my final trimester for a funeral. Otherwise, the midwives never heard from me except at scheduled visits. Since giving birth I have thought of calling them every day to ask if _____ was normal. It's only my usual procrastination that keeps me from calling. I'll wait and wait, trying to see if it will get better, until finally their office is closed and I can't talk myself into believing my issue is important enough to bother the on-call midwife.
It has been 11 days since River was born, and I'm still bleeding. Some of it is still bright red, some of it is rust colored. Yesterday I got lightheaded and blacked out in the shower, today I couldn't stand long enough to accompany J on a short grocery trip. My pelvis and tail bone still hurt, and so do my legs, arms, neck, head, etc. My abdominal muscles hardly work. There's other pain too, but I don't want to gross out the family members and in-laws that read this. Yes, I expected some of this, but the intensity and duration are already more that I was told to expect. Even in the hospital they didn't really prepare me for this.
The only mention of postpartum bleeding that I came across in my normal pregnancy and baby reading (meaning not without extra research and searching) came in my most recent American Baby Magazine (a free magazine that I magically started getting after becoming pregnant) that I actually received after leaving the hospital. Still, the article only mentions the bleeding, and manages to skip over the pain, the tears, the readjusting that your entire body is going through, etc.
Basically, I'm saying that there needs to be more attention paid to, and more information out there about, what happens to a woman after pregnancy. I hope that sharing a bit about what is happening to me helps some other women who read my blog.
Other than that, I have a sleeping baby on my chest, and it feels so good ^-^
There are even tons of websites devoted to pregnancy, most focusing on the baby, but some focusing primarily on the mother. And none of the websites that I was reading mentioned even momentarily what to expect for after labor. American Pregnancy Association, the website that I frequented most often because of its no-nonsense scientific approach to discussing pregnancy (though I wasn't so appreciative of their very gender-stereotypical advice for mom's partner), DID include a section on After Pregnancy, but this section focused only on the baby, with a small bit focusing on postpartum depression. Yes, PPD is very serious, and needs a lot of attention, but it's a hot topic. You can find information about it anywhere (hell, there's usually even an article about it on CNN's health section's top 5 articles).
What I didn't hear anything about was aftercare for any tears, about the bleeding, clotting, etc., about the soreness that stays with you for weeks, about the utter exhaustion that it never feels like you get a chance to recover from (after all, I'm this baby's only source of food), about the pelvic pain, about feeling like your organs are sloshing around in you, etc.
Keep in mind that I only called my midwives once during pregnancy, and that was to get their permission to travel to Michigan during my final trimester for a funeral. Otherwise, the midwives never heard from me except at scheduled visits. Since giving birth I have thought of calling them every day to ask if _____ was normal. It's only my usual procrastination that keeps me from calling. I'll wait and wait, trying to see if it will get better, until finally their office is closed and I can't talk myself into believing my issue is important enough to bother the on-call midwife.
It has been 11 days since River was born, and I'm still bleeding. Some of it is still bright red, some of it is rust colored. Yesterday I got lightheaded and blacked out in the shower, today I couldn't stand long enough to accompany J on a short grocery trip. My pelvis and tail bone still hurt, and so do my legs, arms, neck, head, etc. My abdominal muscles hardly work. There's other pain too, but I don't want to gross out the family members and in-laws that read this. Yes, I expected some of this, but the intensity and duration are already more that I was told to expect. Even in the hospital they didn't really prepare me for this.
The only mention of postpartum bleeding that I came across in my normal pregnancy and baby reading (meaning not without extra research and searching) came in my most recent American Baby Magazine (a free magazine that I magically started getting after becoming pregnant) that I actually received after leaving the hospital. Still, the article only mentions the bleeding, and manages to skip over the pain, the tears, the readjusting that your entire body is going through, etc.
Basically, I'm saying that there needs to be more attention paid to, and more information out there about, what happens to a woman after pregnancy. I hope that sharing a bit about what is happening to me helps some other women who read my blog.
Other than that, I have a sleeping baby on my chest, and it feels so good ^-^
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Quick Update
For those of you who are watching my blog impatiently, waiting for me to pop... I'm still here, and still preggo :-(
Honestly, I hate pregnancy. I'm never going to be one of those women who love it, who reflect happily on the glow or having a baby in me. No, if I ever decide to have another kid, I think I'll adopt.
So here I am, still huge, still having painful contractions that aren't actual labor, still unable to walk or move around much thanks to my painful pelvis, still going to the bathroom ever half-hour because the baby's already dropped in my pelvis.
I know it's just a matter of time, and I'm not even at my due date yet, but I'm getting impatient. I'd rather not have so many of the uncomfortable pre-labor indicators if I'm not actually in labor!
So... today we went on a huge grocery shopping trip, tomorrow we have our Bradley class after J gets off work, friday we have nothing, saturday is our Baby Boot Camp class, and sunday is another nothing day. As much as I love Colleen and her classes, I'm ok with missing any of this if it means that I get to have the baby!
Honestly, I hate pregnancy. I'm never going to be one of those women who love it, who reflect happily on the glow or having a baby in me. No, if I ever decide to have another kid, I think I'll adopt.
So here I am, still huge, still having painful contractions that aren't actual labor, still unable to walk or move around much thanks to my painful pelvis, still going to the bathroom ever half-hour because the baby's already dropped in my pelvis.
I know it's just a matter of time, and I'm not even at my due date yet, but I'm getting impatient. I'd rather not have so many of the uncomfortable pre-labor indicators if I'm not actually in labor!
So... today we went on a huge grocery shopping trip, tomorrow we have our Bradley class after J gets off work, friday we have nothing, saturday is our Baby Boot Camp class, and sunday is another nothing day. As much as I love Colleen and her classes, I'm ok with missing any of this if it means that I get to have the baby!
My body is a tease
This is getting frustrated. My body is teasing me at this point.
Yesterday I woke up super early (5:30 AM, which is UNHEARD of for me, I'm a 10-hour a night kind of girl) and couldn't stop moving! I helped my mom clean, started a quilt, went out to a late lunch, and wandered around a mall for a few hours. I tried hard to stay calm and preserve the energy, sure that I would be going into labor at any minute. Instead, I ended up exhausted at the end of the day and with nothing more than the usual Braxton Hicks to show for it.
This morning I woke up a few times really early to some PAINFUL contractions! Again, I was sure that this was it, but I forced myself back to sleep so that I could maybe sleep through prelabor and some of the first stage. I laid in bed, squeezing J and practicing relaxing through the pain, and even managed to go back to sleep between the contractions. I made the mistake of assuming that I was still having contractions while I slept, but that some miracle was happening that let me sleep through the pain. Instead, after waking up, I decided to practice timing them and to see where I was at.... well, the contraction lasted 3.5 minutes, and another didn't come for an hour. So much for that. Now that I've gotten up and ate some graham crackers and soy protein stuff (I had a little upset stomach and didn't want to push it with any dairy) the contractions have pretty much stalled.
I'm getting so anxious to get this bugger out of me! Raspberry leaf tea seems to intensify the BH's to a point, so I'll keep downing that with copious amounts of honey... but other than the tea, I don't think there are any other home-remedies that I'm willing to try. So here's to another day of pregnancy >.<
Yesterday I woke up super early (5:30 AM, which is UNHEARD of for me, I'm a 10-hour a night kind of girl) and couldn't stop moving! I helped my mom clean, started a quilt, went out to a late lunch, and wandered around a mall for a few hours. I tried hard to stay calm and preserve the energy, sure that I would be going into labor at any minute. Instead, I ended up exhausted at the end of the day and with nothing more than the usual Braxton Hicks to show for it.
This morning I woke up a few times really early to some PAINFUL contractions! Again, I was sure that this was it, but I forced myself back to sleep so that I could maybe sleep through prelabor and some of the first stage. I laid in bed, squeezing J and practicing relaxing through the pain, and even managed to go back to sleep between the contractions. I made the mistake of assuming that I was still having contractions while I slept, but that some miracle was happening that let me sleep through the pain. Instead, after waking up, I decided to practice timing them and to see where I was at.... well, the contraction lasted 3.5 minutes, and another didn't come for an hour. So much for that. Now that I've gotten up and ate some graham crackers and soy protein stuff (I had a little upset stomach and didn't want to push it with any dairy) the contractions have pretty much stalled.
I'm getting so anxious to get this bugger out of me! Raspberry leaf tea seems to intensify the BH's to a point, so I'll keep downing that with copious amounts of honey... but other than the tea, I don't think there are any other home-remedies that I'm willing to try. So here's to another day of pregnancy >.<
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Update and such
Well, yesterday's drama about Better Homes and Gardens was interesting! If you didn't see the two posts, check them out!
BHaG is Anti-Breastfeeding
and:
BHaG Article Update
It felt awesome just to know that bloggers and other internet-present-people can really make change just by speaking up. The fact that I got a public apology in the comments on the second article really made my day!
Yesterday
Otherwise, yesterday was one of the more busy days that I've had lately, which isn't really saying a lot since I never seem to do anything anymore. We had our midwife appointment in the morning where we met with another of the midwives who might be called in if I go into labor when our main midwife is out of town. Again, she seemed really nice, but we still definitely prefer Cynthia!
After that, we went to Flat Top Grill to get a good meal in me since I've been too tired and achey to do any real cooking at home. I'd never been to a Flat Top, and it was delicious! I can't wait to eat the leftovers!
We decided to skip grocery shopping, even though it was pretty high on our to-do list, and even managed to space out on doing laundry. Instead, we had our group of gamer friends come over for some Warhammer. I don't really play since I'm so distracted, but J and his friends had a great time, and I got some time playing World of Warcraft ^.^
The whole day was peppered with some nice, strong, more-uncomfortable-than-painful Braxton Hicks contractions (though by definition BH's don't accomplish anything, and the pre-labor contractions I've been feeling are very likely thinning and effacing my cervix) as well as some slight cervical spasms. Still, these things are nothing new, just slowely getting more and more intense.
Today
This morning I woke up around 5:30 AM after my normal (at least lately) 2-hr sleep schedule between peeings. I think I got a total of 6 hours of sleep. Maybe. Still, woke up to pee and started feeling very anxious, like I had a ton of things that I had to do right then. Still, I made myself lay in bed until J had to get up to go to work (another two hours) and got up with him.
Unfortunately, no matter how much there is for me to do, my pelvis hurts so much that I can barely move. Instead of cleaning, doing dishes and laundry, picking up around the house, organizing everything, or any of the other hundred things I can think of to do, I've been cutting out little 4x4in squares of fabric to use for my first attempt at quilting. I know I probably won't have time to finish the project, nor do I really have the drive, but I needed to do something.
Luckily, with all the feeling like I need to get things done, my mom is on her way over here to help me clean a little. I feel really weird about her cleaning my house, but it needs to get done. I know J doesn't really like the idea either, but he's so exhausted from work that I hate to ever ask him to do it when I can't.
So... Yeah. Hope everyone else in the blogosphere is having a good day ^-^
BHaG is Anti-Breastfeeding
and:
BHaG Article Update
It felt awesome just to know that bloggers and other internet-present-people can really make change just by speaking up. The fact that I got a public apology in the comments on the second article really made my day!
Yesterday
Otherwise, yesterday was one of the more busy days that I've had lately, which isn't really saying a lot since I never seem to do anything anymore. We had our midwife appointment in the morning where we met with another of the midwives who might be called in if I go into labor when our main midwife is out of town. Again, she seemed really nice, but we still definitely prefer Cynthia!
After that, we went to Flat Top Grill to get a good meal in me since I've been too tired and achey to do any real cooking at home. I'd never been to a Flat Top, and it was delicious! I can't wait to eat the leftovers!
We decided to skip grocery shopping, even though it was pretty high on our to-do list, and even managed to space out on doing laundry. Instead, we had our group of gamer friends come over for some Warhammer. I don't really play since I'm so distracted, but J and his friends had a great time, and I got some time playing World of Warcraft ^.^
The whole day was peppered with some nice, strong, more-uncomfortable-than-painful Braxton Hicks contractions (though by definition BH's don't accomplish anything, and the pre-labor contractions I've been feeling are very likely thinning and effacing my cervix) as well as some slight cervical spasms. Still, these things are nothing new, just slowely getting more and more intense.
Today
This morning I woke up around 5:30 AM after my normal (at least lately) 2-hr sleep schedule between peeings. I think I got a total of 6 hours of sleep. Maybe. Still, woke up to pee and started feeling very anxious, like I had a ton of things that I had to do right then. Still, I made myself lay in bed until J had to get up to go to work (another two hours) and got up with him.
Unfortunately, no matter how much there is for me to do, my pelvis hurts so much that I can barely move. Instead of cleaning, doing dishes and laundry, picking up around the house, organizing everything, or any of the other hundred things I can think of to do, I've been cutting out little 4x4in squares of fabric to use for my first attempt at quilting. I know I probably won't have time to finish the project, nor do I really have the drive, but I needed to do something.
Luckily, with all the feeling like I need to get things done, my mom is on her way over here to help me clean a little. I feel really weird about her cleaning my house, but it needs to get done. I know J doesn't really like the idea either, but he's so exhausted from work that I hate to ever ask him to do it when I can't.
So... Yeah. Hope everyone else in the blogosphere is having a good day ^-^
Monday, May 24, 2010
BHaG is anti-breastfeeding.
Generally speaking, I'm for breastfeeding. I respect every mother's right to choose what is best for her and her child, even if that's not breastfeeding, but MY intention is to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months, and almost exclusively for another 6 months after that. That said, no matter what your personal decision is regarding breastfeeding, I think that most women (especially mothers) can agree that a woman should never be pressured to NOT breastfeed. In fact, I think that women should be encouraged and breastfeeding should be as comfortable as giving a kid a bottle.
In Illinois (as in most U.S. states and on federal property) a woman has the right to breastfeed anywhere that she is allowed to be. Still, some businesses are not aware of this, and try to get breastfeeding women to leave or stop breastfeeding. Unsupportive public opinions can make the difference between successful breastfeeding and a mother deciding to switch to a bottle.
I recently came across this article from Better Homes and Gardens Magazine: The 10 Commandments of Dining with Little Kids. In it, the author says:
In Illinois (as in most U.S. states and on federal property) a woman has the right to breastfeed anywhere that she is allowed to be. Still, some businesses are not aware of this, and try to get breastfeeding women to leave or stop breastfeeding. Unsupportive public opinions can make the difference between successful breastfeeding and a mother deciding to switch to a bottle.
I recently came across this article from Better Homes and Gardens Magazine: The 10 Commandments of Dining with Little Kids. In it, the author says:
THOU SHALT NOT BREAST FEED AT THE TABLEWhat amazes and scares me is not only that this article was written by a woman, but that she claims not to be 'anti-kid'. I have more than a few issues with this:
Yes, I have seen table-side breast feeding at a four-star restaurant. If at all possible, take it to the ladies room. (Note: most upscale restaurants have really nice restrooms!)
- Yes, a bathroom might be very nice, but no one wants to eat in one, and I think there are very few people who would want to spend up to 30 minutes of their meal out sitting in a bathroom.
- Handicap stalls are for people with disabilities, not for breastfeeding mothers.
- Who wants to wait in line for the bathroom while a mother breastfeeds, especially if there are not multiple stalls.
- She also includes the 'commandment' "THOU SHALL TRY TO QUELL HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING". I don't know if anyone has noticed, but a hungry baby tends to be a loud baby.
- Most mothers who breastfeed show surprisingly little to no boob.
- You don't have to look, in fact, it's rude to stare.
- Society has created this insane oversexualization of breasts and has turned them into a taboo. Exposure to breasts being used for sustenance should be encouraged, not exposure to breasts as a way to use sexuality to sell products.
- Eating as a family is a positive experience and should be started as young as possible. Eating while breastfeeding is also a great way for the mother to make sure that she is getting the nutrition necessary to continue breastfeeding.
- The author is definitely anti-kid if she does not support breastfeeding. Breastfeeding has been shown over and over to provide the best nutrients for a child and lowers the rates of SIDs.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
My battle with antepartum depression.
I've been really horrible about updating here. I get a good post in about once a week, and otherwise I can't motivate myself to make coherent posts (or do much of anything else). About once a day I'll open up the new post page and just sit there, with nothing to say. I've been like this about a lot of stuff actually.
I've been having a hard time with depression during pregnancy (or antepartum depression). Basically, the hormonal changes in my body are bringing on a reemergence of the horrible depressive episodes I had in high school. I've had no motivation to do much more than sleep and eat. Since I don't have motivation to actually get up and do anything, that means that I'm eating processed junk more than anything, since it's the easiest to just grab without having to cook. It means that I only made 4 felties in the past two weeks, and only one crocheted boob. It means the house is a mess. It means that J comes home from work, asks what I did that day, and I say nothing because I really did nothing. It means that the slightest thing makes me cry.
I know that these feelings are hormonally based. Unlike during my depressive episodes in high school, there is nothing triggering these, there are no excuses for my mood. I just feel down. I know that J is getting frustrated with it. He asks me what is wrong all the time. I feel horrible because I know that he's just looking for some way to make me feel better, I know that he's frustrated. He reminds me all the time that the pregnancy is almost over, that soon I'll have my baby in my arms and she won't be playing with my hormonal buttons all the time.
I'm trying to take the time to enjoy little happy moments right now. I've been trying to get myself to whip out the camera and smile. I've rearranged all of the baby's things and played with her toys to try to bring myself out of this. I've talked to my midwife and my hubby, and short of therapy (which I don't have money for and don't think will help since it's hormonally based) or medication (which has never worked well for me in the past) there's nothing that can really be done.
I also worry about postpartum depression. I know that people who have depression issues earlier in life, especially during pregnancy, are much more likely to have postpartum depression. I have this vision of me, happy, with a newborn, enjoying all the little moments in life, but a part of me knows that this is not very likely. I'm more likely to be sitting at home doing nothing every day, much like I am now, except with a crying, pooping, needy baby.
There's a lot of attention given to postpartum depression, especially in the media. It's great that there is so much information about it floating around, but there is almost no time given to antepartum depression. I hope that by posting, at least someone else out there might not feel so alone when dealing with it.
I've been having a hard time with depression during pregnancy (or antepartum depression). Basically, the hormonal changes in my body are bringing on a reemergence of the horrible depressive episodes I had in high school. I've had no motivation to do much more than sleep and eat. Since I don't have motivation to actually get up and do anything, that means that I'm eating processed junk more than anything, since it's the easiest to just grab without having to cook. It means that I only made 4 felties in the past two weeks, and only one crocheted boob. It means the house is a mess. It means that J comes home from work, asks what I did that day, and I say nothing because I really did nothing. It means that the slightest thing makes me cry.
I know that these feelings are hormonally based. Unlike during my depressive episodes in high school, there is nothing triggering these, there are no excuses for my mood. I just feel down. I know that J is getting frustrated with it. He asks me what is wrong all the time. I feel horrible because I know that he's just looking for some way to make me feel better, I know that he's frustrated. He reminds me all the time that the pregnancy is almost over, that soon I'll have my baby in my arms and she won't be playing with my hormonal buttons all the time.
I'm trying to take the time to enjoy little happy moments right now. I've been trying to get myself to whip out the camera and smile. I've rearranged all of the baby's things and played with her toys to try to bring myself out of this. I've talked to my midwife and my hubby, and short of therapy (which I don't have money for and don't think will help since it's hormonally based) or medication (which has never worked well for me in the past) there's nothing that can really be done.
I also worry about postpartum depression. I know that people who have depression issues earlier in life, especially during pregnancy, are much more likely to have postpartum depression. I have this vision of me, happy, with a newborn, enjoying all the little moments in life, but a part of me knows that this is not very likely. I'm more likely to be sitting at home doing nothing every day, much like I am now, except with a crying, pooping, needy baby.
There's a lot of attention given to postpartum depression, especially in the media. It's great that there is so much information about it floating around, but there is almost no time given to antepartum depression. I hope that by posting, at least someone else out there might not feel so alone when dealing with it.
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Feminism vs Faminism??? WTF?
Just came across a horrible article in The New York Observer: Faminist Theory.
The article creates a completely bogus divide between feminists and any woman who has a family. It ignores the fact that feminism is just as much about the right to not have children and a family, as it is about being able TO have children and a family.
No man has to worry about whether or not he will be able to breastfeed in public, have the natural or unnatural birth that he wants, or be forced into yet another cesarean. Some amazing feminist men fight for these rights, but it is mostly is female feminists who fight for these causes, and the fights are most commonly against men. Just because someone's personal priorities change from career to family does not mean that they stop being feminists.
I also resent the idea that fighting for access to abortions or the pill is somehow selfish. I think that waiting until you are physically, emotionally, and financially prepared to have children is beyond unselfish. I think that making sure that your child can grow up with everything they need is incredibly important. They ignore the fact that most abortions are received by women who already have children. They ignore the fact that many of these women who are choosing to have families now once used the pill and made a conscious decision to have children, which in my mind makes them all the more special.
As a supposed 'reference' to this change from feminism to faminism, they have a slideshow of '9 Women Who Prefer Prams to Politics'. Instead of including any meaningful images that might have strengthened their weak arguments, they included pictures of 9 random celebrity mothers toting around their children. The worst part was that they even included pictures of celebrity mothers who CONTINUE to work on global politics beyond reproductive justice and family rights. They imply that, by having a family, these women have given up fighting for any other causes. It's incredibly demeaning to limit a woman's identity to only that of a mother. I'm sorry, I'll be a mother, I'll be a mother first and foremost, but I'll still be a feminist, hippie, vegetarian, liberal woman.
The article talks a lot about the younger age that women are deciding to begin their families. They completely ignore larger socioeconomic reasons that more women are having children now. The fact is that it is harder and harder for both partners in a relationship to be employed, and that it makes sense to take time where you would not otherwise be able to work and to have children. I know this played into our decision to have a child. Since I was unable to find employment since graduating anyways, and since my husband was able to support us (though just barely), we made the decision to take this time to start a family.
This last quote is the most ridiculous, rude, presumptuous part of the article:
To make such false divides in a movement is nothing short of an attempt at sabotage. It's pitting two groups against each other in an attempt to create a weaker movement overall.
I'm making a vow now, especially in light of this recent article, to attend as many rallies, protests, demonstrations, etc. with my daughter in tow. Not just to show people that women with children do still care, but to show my daughter that it is possible to make real change and that political involvement extremely important.
The article creates a completely bogus divide between feminists and any woman who has a family. It ignores the fact that feminism is just as much about the right to not have children and a family, as it is about being able TO have children and a family.
"The feminist battleground, with its slogans, marches, and campaigns for reproductive rights, has given way to the playground and the fight for lactation rights, stroller rights, school-system rights, unpasteurized milk rights, charter schools, birthing techniques, nutritional value of bagged lunches and water quality. It is not so much about the Fem as it is about the Fam."This quote probably angers me the most. It is basically arguing that all of these things, because they are not about postponing childbirth, are not feminist issues. The article is completely misleading! Lactation rights, birthing techniques, VBAC's, etc. are all FEMINIST ISSUES! The right to HAVE children is just as much a reproductive right as the right NOT TO. Feminists fought for years against involuntary sterilizations (there was a huge epidemic of unconsented sterilizations of poor and colored women that went on for years) and eugenics, and continue to fight for rights to all the previously listed causes as well as rights to paid maternity leave, health care that covers reproductive rights, etc.
No man has to worry about whether or not he will be able to breastfeed in public, have the natural or unnatural birth that he wants, or be forced into yet another cesarean. Some amazing feminist men fight for these rights, but it is mostly is female feminists who fight for these causes, and the fights are most commonly against men. Just because someone's personal priorities change from career to family does not mean that they stop being feminists.
“Women are defining themselves more by their families than they are by themselves,” said Pamela Paul, a 39-year-old mother of three in Harlem and author of Parenting Inc. “It’s no longer about something as selfish and self-advancing as abortion or the pill.”I strongly resent the idea that since people do not openly talk about abortion rights, we are somehow past the need to fight for them. I don't know about other mothers out there, but my pregnancy experience has made me MORE supportive of reproductive rights! I would not wish the past 9 months on anyone who didn't choose it for themselves. It's also my opinion that if someone doesn't support abortions, it's easy enough not to get one. Instead of forcing our beliefs on other people, we should be content with making our own decisions based on our own beliefs.
I also resent the idea that fighting for access to abortions or the pill is somehow selfish. I think that waiting until you are physically, emotionally, and financially prepared to have children is beyond unselfish. I think that making sure that your child can grow up with everything they need is incredibly important. They ignore the fact that most abortions are received by women who already have children. They ignore the fact that many of these women who are choosing to have families now once used the pill and made a conscious decision to have children, which in my mind makes them all the more special.
As a supposed 'reference' to this change from feminism to faminism, they have a slideshow of '9 Women Who Prefer Prams to Politics'. Instead of including any meaningful images that might have strengthened their weak arguments, they included pictures of 9 random celebrity mothers toting around their children. The worst part was that they even included pictures of celebrity mothers who CONTINUE to work on global politics beyond reproductive justice and family rights. They imply that, by having a family, these women have given up fighting for any other causes. It's incredibly demeaning to limit a woman's identity to only that of a mother. I'm sorry, I'll be a mother, I'll be a mother first and foremost, but I'll still be a feminist, hippie, vegetarian, liberal woman.
The article talks a lot about the younger age that women are deciding to begin their families. They completely ignore larger socioeconomic reasons that more women are having children now. The fact is that it is harder and harder for both partners in a relationship to be employed, and that it makes sense to take time where you would not otherwise be able to work and to have children. I know this played into our decision to have a child. Since I was unable to find employment since graduating anyways, and since my husband was able to support us (though just barely), we made the decision to take this time to start a family.
This last quote is the most ridiculous, rude, presumptuous part of the article:
"In Ms. Jong’s time, women were protesting compulsory motherhood; now, it seems, they are not protesting anything at all—they are too busy mopping up crumbs."I said it earlier, and I'll say it again, just because a woman is a mother does not mean that she stops being anything else.
To make such false divides in a movement is nothing short of an attempt at sabotage. It's pitting two groups against each other in an attempt to create a weaker movement overall.
I'm making a vow now, especially in light of this recent article, to attend as many rallies, protests, demonstrations, etc. with my daughter in tow. Not just to show people that women with children do still care, but to show my daughter that it is possible to make real change and that political involvement extremely important.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
My particular baby shower issues
I could easily make a huge, long post here about the sexist issues surrounding traditional baby shower practices.. But this isn't a widely read feminist blog, this is the personal blog of a feminist, so here are my particular issues, grievances, and situations. That said, I'm sorry if I offend anyone in this post, specifically family members who may stumble across my blog, but I feel the need to be honest. Please keep in mind that this is my space to air out any venomous rationalizations and get my thoughts in order.
There are numerous issues surrounding a baby shower for me.
The first IS the inherently sexist nature that is apparent in most baby showers. It's typically a bunch of women sitting around, which in itself discredits fathers, and engaging in completely gendered activities depending on the prospective sex of the baby. Not to mention that those activities tend to be either really really lame (like baby shower bingo) or slightly nauseating (I really don't understand the obsession with melting candy bars into diapers). The one activity that I LOVE is from OffbeatMama.com where they talk about letting all the guests decorate onesies for the baby (the post is here). The issue with this activity, at least for me, is that my families seem to think that gendering our child is absolutely necessary, and for the sake of the sanity of our little-one, they will do it against our wishes. There's also another Offbeat Mama post on baby showers that I love, but I really can't see anyone in my family participating in or enjoying any of the suggested offbeat activities.
I'm sorry, my husband is going to be just as engaged as a parent as I am. Hell, I completely expect my baby to be daddy's girl (she already kicks more when he's around). There is no way that I am going to any baby shower that excludes him. The baby is just as much a part of him as a part of me.
Another issue I keep running into is the Jewish tradition of postponing baby showers until the baby is here. It's not an issue with the tradition or the paranoia surrounding it, I completely understand. The issue is that J and I need to have started making the large baby purchases like a crib, etc. a long time ago in order to be able to afford them. Nothing on my registry has been listed as having been purchased so I have no idea what I'm going to have to run around and buy at the last minute. It's driving me a little crazy. Plus, since no one uses the registry or communicates about purchases, I know that two people have already bought rocking chairs that are not returnable >.< it's frustrating.
I also find the lack of familial support for natural childbirth completely disheartening. I know I should brush it off, but when people who usually give good advice and have experienced childbirth personally tell me that unmedicated childbirth is impossible or not worth the effort it's hard to not get disheartened. There are a good number of people who think that my desire for a natural birth is 'cute' but that the second I get into labor, I'll be screaming for the meds. And they tell me this. Loudly. I'm sorry, but my understanding was that family was supposed to support each other in their decisions no matter what they are. Not try to tear you down before you even get a chance to try. Yep, thanks for supporting me family!
I left this section for last on purpose... I'm hesitant to post this, but it's probably the biggest issue on my mind about the shower and it's really frustrating me. My inlaws tend to have some very strong opinions and get easily offended when things don't go the way that they think they should.
Some background: before my wedding, my mother in-law (MIL) decided that she would like to throw the wedding shower. Unknown to me, two of my aunts also decided that they would like to be the ones to throw a shower. Since my MIL was the first to tell me, and wasn't very involved in the wedding-planning, J and I decided to essentially 'give' her the party. Instead, she ceded the party planning to my aunts. Her choice. I fought for her. She never tried to contact my aunts and possibly plan something together.
All the women on her side of the family (women only, not my decision) were invited to the shower, but only two came, most of the rest did not even bother to RSVP. Again, Not Our Fault.
Only after the wedding did I start to hear the complaints that the MIL had about the whole shower thing. Now, because she was not involved in the wedding shower planning, she refuses to include herself in the baby shower planning or even plan anything her self. It seems like she's even a little offended that my family is following the Jewish tradition and not holding a shower until after the baby is here.
I just don't understand, if she was so upset about how the shower went, why she didn't say anything or take the offer to hold it, and why she's so set on repeating the whole experience with the baby shower. Instead she has set herself up to be angry again if her family is not invited and completely included in whatever shower plans develop (and it doesn't even seem like anything is actually developing). Still, this seems to be how she likes things, even within her own family she always seems to want to have something to complain about..
So, sorry if my post offended any family members, but these are the thoughts that have been plaguing my mind lately and I am not going to apologize for posting honestly. Any advice from fellow mama-bloggers would be greatly appreciated..
There are numerous issues surrounding a baby shower for me.
The first IS the inherently sexist nature that is apparent in most baby showers. It's typically a bunch of women sitting around, which in itself discredits fathers, and engaging in completely gendered activities depending on the prospective sex of the baby. Not to mention that those activities tend to be either really really lame (like baby shower bingo) or slightly nauseating (I really don't understand the obsession with melting candy bars into diapers). The one activity that I LOVE is from OffbeatMama.com where they talk about letting all the guests decorate onesies for the baby (the post is here). The issue with this activity, at least for me, is that my families seem to think that gendering our child is absolutely necessary, and for the sake of the sanity of our little-one, they will do it against our wishes. There's also another Offbeat Mama post on baby showers that I love, but I really can't see anyone in my family participating in or enjoying any of the suggested offbeat activities.
I'm sorry, my husband is going to be just as engaged as a parent as I am. Hell, I completely expect my baby to be daddy's girl (she already kicks more when he's around). There is no way that I am going to any baby shower that excludes him. The baby is just as much a part of him as a part of me.
Another issue I keep running into is the Jewish tradition of postponing baby showers until the baby is here. It's not an issue with the tradition or the paranoia surrounding it, I completely understand. The issue is that J and I need to have started making the large baby purchases like a crib, etc. a long time ago in order to be able to afford them. Nothing on my registry has been listed as having been purchased so I have no idea what I'm going to have to run around and buy at the last minute. It's driving me a little crazy. Plus, since no one uses the registry or communicates about purchases, I know that two people have already bought rocking chairs that are not returnable >.< it's frustrating.
I also find the lack of familial support for natural childbirth completely disheartening. I know I should brush it off, but when people who usually give good advice and have experienced childbirth personally tell me that unmedicated childbirth is impossible or not worth the effort it's hard to not get disheartened. There are a good number of people who think that my desire for a natural birth is 'cute' but that the second I get into labor, I'll be screaming for the meds. And they tell me this. Loudly. I'm sorry, but my understanding was that family was supposed to support each other in their decisions no matter what they are. Not try to tear you down before you even get a chance to try. Yep, thanks for supporting me family!
I left this section for last on purpose... I'm hesitant to post this, but it's probably the biggest issue on my mind about the shower and it's really frustrating me. My inlaws tend to have some very strong opinions and get easily offended when things don't go the way that they think they should.
Some background: before my wedding, my mother in-law (MIL) decided that she would like to throw the wedding shower. Unknown to me, two of my aunts also decided that they would like to be the ones to throw a shower. Since my MIL was the first to tell me, and wasn't very involved in the wedding-planning, J and I decided to essentially 'give' her the party. Instead, she ceded the party planning to my aunts. Her choice. I fought for her. She never tried to contact my aunts and possibly plan something together.
All the women on her side of the family (women only, not my decision) were invited to the shower, but only two came, most of the rest did not even bother to RSVP. Again, Not Our Fault.
Only after the wedding did I start to hear the complaints that the MIL had about the whole shower thing. Now, because she was not involved in the wedding shower planning, she refuses to include herself in the baby shower planning or even plan anything her self. It seems like she's even a little offended that my family is following the Jewish tradition and not holding a shower until after the baby is here.
I just don't understand, if she was so upset about how the shower went, why she didn't say anything or take the offer to hold it, and why she's so set on repeating the whole experience with the baby shower. Instead she has set herself up to be angry again if her family is not invited and completely included in whatever shower plans develop (and it doesn't even seem like anything is actually developing). Still, this seems to be how she likes things, even within her own family she always seems to want to have something to complain about..
So, sorry if my post offended any family members, but these are the thoughts that have been plaguing my mind lately and I am not going to apologize for posting honestly. Any advice from fellow mama-bloggers would be greatly appreciated..
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Huge Picture-Filled Update
I've been horrible about updating again, but this time I have an excuse: the computer that I normally use at home (a huge desktop tower) has gotten this horrible trojan virus that masquerades as an antivirus program and blocks access to EVERYTHING. it sucks. And the laptop, which is normally the hubby's computer, has a sticky space bar, which is the most annoying thing to type on.
Oh, and I suddenly find myself busy again! ACEN is coming up and a friend is having me work on his costume at the last minute :-/, and the awesome doula who runs the childbirth classes I am taking is having me crochet some boobies!!! They're going to be used as aids for lactation awareness and breastfeeding classes. I'll be making multi-racial boobs first, then eventually making boobs with inverted nipples, clogged ducts, engorged boobs, small boobs, droopy boobs, etc, etc... it's going to be awesome! Talk about a craft market that I never considered before! I've been tapering off the costuming contracts, partially because my sewing machine is wonky and keeps eating fabric and partially because it's just too hard for me to cut out pattern pieces and work around a table (i'm HUGE, or at least I feel HUGE!).
The birthing class I'm taking has us all start a pregnancy nutrition diet. To be honest (sorry Colleen), it annoyed me a lot at first (I'm a junky eater with no money for much better than mac n cheese and hot dogs), but it's helped me keep track of what I'm eating, I just don't know if I can afford another expensive can of protein powder since I have to go through so much of it since I don't really eat much meat. ANYWAYS, I didn't mean to complain so much, the point of mentioning the diet is to brag about the dinner I made myself!
I saute'd potatoes, carrots, broccoli, corn, and almonds with olive oil and seasonings. It was DELICIOUS. I just can't imagine cooking like that every day. I know some people can, and some people enjoy it, I'm just not one of those people. I'm lazy and I know it. Now if only I could get myself to do those stretches >.<
Lately I find myself freaking out over the baby coming and not having enough ready (I'm not sure i'll every feel 'ready'). This has led to a lot of frantic crafting and organizing on my part. Here are some of the things I've been working on. I've been stuck on a crochet streak since it seems to be the easiest with my low energy levels and my huge tummy.
This is the first blanket I've every crocheted. It has huge spaces between the stitches so that the baby will be comfortable in the summer. Unfortunately, I didn't think ahead and buy a large hook for the large stitches, so the blanket is also incredibly uneven, but has a sort of hand-made charm to it. It's made of the Sugar'n Cream brand's new stripes yarn in green and white.
When I was little i always needed something to do with my hands, and I still do. I also always needed to have some sort of comforting object around. I crocheted little cloths out of more Sugar'n Cream yarn. The larger has some huge buttons on it for when the baby is teething or needs something colorful to fiddle with. If she doesn't end up liking them, they'll make great washcloths too ^.^
I also made a baby cocoon. For those of you who aren't familiar with them, they're another way to swaddle a baby and make sure that she doesn't hit herself in the face while she's sleeping before her coordination has developed. For the picture, there's a stuffed lamb in it pretending to be a baby. Extra thanks to my aunt Linda for the stuffed animals she gave me (they'll show up in more pictures a little lower.).
This is my current crochet project. It's another blanket, this time made yellow and green yarns (the colors didn't photograph so well >.< ) and the proper sized hook so it will hopefully turn out square and even.
I'm tempted to sell crocheted things on etsy, but I'm not sure that I'm willing to put in all the time it takes to make these things with how little they will sell for. unfortunately the market is so permeated by machine-knitted things that people are not really willing to spend the money on something that is hand made and takes forever to make.
In a frantic effort to convince myself that I am ready for the baby, I've done some nesting. Unfortunately my comfort and energy levels haven't been enough to let me actually CLEAN the house, but I've worked on putting all the baby things together and in order of size:
I cleared off a set of shelves and used it for all the baby-appropriate books and assorted toys we've acquired so far.
The top shelf is a couple of dragon needlepoints that a friend made me a while ago and I framed. It also has the adult books that are child appropriate and a couple very old childrens books. Unfortunately the Tolkein collection, which I will be reading my child from birth, did not fit on these shelves and aren't pictured.
The second shelf has a plushy version of our cat that we got at ACen last year, my stuffed bunny from when I was a baby, and the assorted children's books that I've gotten from a used book store near us. My favorite is Not A Box by Antoinette Portis. I was really into playing pretend as a child and this book is all about a bunny playing pretend with a box. it rocks my socks.
The third shelf is full of stuffed animals from my aunt (the giraffe and the bear), a few toys I've bought (the lion mirror, the cow rattle/teether, and the linkies), the sun that used the hang over my crib when I was a baby, and two wooded teethers from etsy. I posted before about the 'I love you' ASL teether in both my Sign Language Post as well as a Featured Seller Post. It's from an awesome Etsy.com seller; EcoAyris. The smaller teether is a squirrel from Etsy seller Little Sapling Toys.
And below the shelves, this awkward giraffe sits :-) I have a thing for awkwardly cute animals.
Along the same lines, I organized all the baby things in the closets. I sorted them all by size >.<
This organizer hangs in the closet and is acting as a stand-in dresser until I can get my old changing table-dresser from my family (they're jewish and don't believe in giving me baby things until the baby is here so as not to jinx it). If you look really carefully, you can see the Star Wars onesie on the fourth shelf down :-) now I just need a Lord of the Rings onesie to balance the hubby's nerdiness. Almost everything in this organizer was bought by us at Goodwill or Salvation Army or made by me.
All of these were gotten by my mom and my grandmother. They're crazy shoppers. I'm pretty sure my grandmother would be pissed if she knew that my mom already let me take these clothes home but my mother needed the closet space.
Here are the rest of our baby supplies so far. There's a wipes case, wipes, baby soap, as well as disposable and reusable diapers.
I've also been doing a lot of child-centered reading, here are the three things I'm working on right now:
There's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer, Baby Sign Language Basics (I'm using it to teach the hubby sign and to brush up on my own skills) by Monta Z Briant, and the most adorable manga I've ever seen: Yotsuba&! vol. 3 by Kiyohiko Azuma.
Also, here's an obligatory baby belly pic and a pic of me. The dress I'm wearing is the only thing that still fits me and manages to cover my belly >.< everything else is too short now.
I'm generally a pretty tiny person, so the bump really stands out. I've caught retail workers with a terrified look on their faces, I'm sure they think I'm probably ready to pop! and honestly, I feel like I am.
And then there's this horrible facebook-style picture... really just because I realized there aren't any recent pics of me floating around the web and I wanted to show off my badly dreaded hair (i'm too lazy!) and my newly acquired acne (never had it during puberty, it decided to show up during pregnancy).
And last but not least, since my cat always insists on being the center of attention and it's impossible to take any pictures without taking at least one of him:
He likes sniffing and rubbing on my childbirth class binder because it came from a house with a dog :-) oh, and you can get a glimpse of our AWESOME COW PRINT OFFICE CHAIR in the upper right.
So yeah, THE END!
Oh, and I suddenly find myself busy again! ACEN is coming up and a friend is having me work on his costume at the last minute :-/, and the awesome doula who runs the childbirth classes I am taking is having me crochet some boobies!!! They're going to be used as aids for lactation awareness and breastfeeding classes. I'll be making multi-racial boobs first, then eventually making boobs with inverted nipples, clogged ducts, engorged boobs, small boobs, droopy boobs, etc, etc... it's going to be awesome! Talk about a craft market that I never considered before! I've been tapering off the costuming contracts, partially because my sewing machine is wonky and keeps eating fabric and partially because it's just too hard for me to cut out pattern pieces and work around a table (i'm HUGE, or at least I feel HUGE!).
The birthing class I'm taking has us all start a pregnancy nutrition diet. To be honest (sorry Colleen), it annoyed me a lot at first (I'm a junky eater with no money for much better than mac n cheese and hot dogs), but it's helped me keep track of what I'm eating, I just don't know if I can afford another expensive can of protein powder since I have to go through so much of it since I don't really eat much meat. ANYWAYS, I didn't mean to complain so much, the point of mentioning the diet is to brag about the dinner I made myself!
Lately I find myself freaking out over the baby coming and not having enough ready (I'm not sure i'll every feel 'ready'). This has led to a lot of frantic crafting and organizing on my part. Here are some of the things I've been working on. I've been stuck on a crochet streak since it seems to be the easiest with my low energy levels and my huge tummy.
I'm tempted to sell crocheted things on etsy, but I'm not sure that I'm willing to put in all the time it takes to make these things with how little they will sell for. unfortunately the market is so permeated by machine-knitted things that people are not really willing to spend the money on something that is hand made and takes forever to make.
In a frantic effort to convince myself that I am ready for the baby, I've done some nesting. Unfortunately my comfort and energy levels haven't been enough to let me actually CLEAN the house, but I've worked on putting all the baby things together and in order of size:
The top shelf is a couple of dragon needlepoints that a friend made me a while ago and I framed. It also has the adult books that are child appropriate and a couple very old childrens books. Unfortunately the Tolkein collection, which I will be reading my child from birth, did not fit on these shelves and aren't pictured.
Along the same lines, I organized all the baby things in the closets. I sorted them all by size >.<
I've also been doing a lot of child-centered reading, here are the three things I'm working on right now:
Also, here's an obligatory baby belly pic and a pic of me. The dress I'm wearing is the only thing that still fits me and manages to cover my belly >.< everything else is too short now.
And last but not least, since my cat always insists on being the center of attention and it's impossible to take any pictures without taking at least one of him:
So yeah, THE END!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Promises, promises
I know I've said this before, and I'll probably say it a hundred more times, but I really need to be better about updating. My intention was, and still is, to post something almost every day (maybe 5-6 days out of 7), but I can't seem to keep up with it. Maybe because I just don't feel like the mundane happenings in my life are worth reading about.. Maybe because I'm just lazy.
Anyways, for lack of a seller to feature, and lack of a how-to to post, this week will have neither. Honestly, I meant to post how-to's to keep me learning new things to craft and cook, but instead I've just been posting things that I've known how to make for a long time. And unfortunately, I only really feel comfortable featuring sellers that I know or have bought something from personally, and I'm running out of past purchases faster than I expected.
I still intend to blog about those more meaningful topics that I posted here, but with the baby getting bigger, some weird recurrance of morning sickness, and all the exhaustion that comes with it, I've been slacking. No worries though, posts are coming.
(speaking of, I think i'm going to end this one here, and start a new one about some of the stuff that's happened this week)
^.^
Anyways, for lack of a seller to feature, and lack of a how-to to post, this week will have neither. Honestly, I meant to post how-to's to keep me learning new things to craft and cook, but instead I've just been posting things that I've known how to make for a long time. And unfortunately, I only really feel comfortable featuring sellers that I know or have bought something from personally, and I'm running out of past purchases faster than I expected.
I still intend to blog about those more meaningful topics that I posted here, but with the baby getting bigger, some weird recurrance of morning sickness, and all the exhaustion that comes with it, I've been slacking. No worries though, posts are coming.
(speaking of, I think i'm going to end this one here, and start a new one about some of the stuff that's happened this week)
^.^
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