tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-92075806379615114482024-03-05T23:51:36.435-06:00Squirrely MamaJust another Single Hippie Feminist Full-Time Mother's BlogSquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.comBlogger104125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-1019107142226569842012-03-13T23:46:00.002-05:002012-03-13T23:48:46.713-05:00I did it, I caved inI got a twitter.<br /><br />And I'll admit it, my main reason was that I want Wil Wheaton to notice me :)<br />and maybe the Bloggess.<br /><br /><a href="http://twitter.com/nerdyhippiemama">NerdyHippieMama</a>Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-9981054596552768992012-03-11T22:39:00.004-05:002012-03-11T22:58:55.255-05:00Holding myself accountableFor some reason, living in my parents' house has turned my messiness into some illogical way to claim my space. They want cleanliness, they impose their desires upon me in every other part of the house, so my own room turns into a complete disaster. I really mean complete.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQC9NaoigYbYCAVyWCZoUnIjBfEnu4zqmiBI1epiI2TMAOZP1zZ80b2hadUv1-KQoFgu_fTUuaZPHi8hbO6tlDHzdtBlNnLHQfevxq5Pl6_vH6XPy3jP-2YORsLkpRz43nrX6vIM4Ardpd/s1600/SAM_0202.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 112px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQC9NaoigYbYCAVyWCZoUnIjBfEnu4zqmiBI1epiI2TMAOZP1zZ80b2hadUv1-KQoFgu_fTUuaZPHi8hbO6tlDHzdtBlNnLHQfevxq5Pl6_vH6XPy3jP-2YORsLkpRz43nrX6vIM4Ardpd/s200/SAM_0202.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718853585919359426" border="0" /></a><br />This is the area by the door, also the changing area and garbage area.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1uhvbxdNC1OXIEwA3FxekUKZuWke6r-SZ1QScHNY-KWHsRT_79ndmEKJuzO267bP-duT_Sc9RSUGTF-NeE6mNWcz1ZA8X9aPkGbWvGZsM4eze_OHH97KHuuIBW_dn9Hu7-bfBeiQm21ss/s1600/SAM_0200.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 112px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1uhvbxdNC1OXIEwA3FxekUKZuWke6r-SZ1QScHNY-KWHsRT_79ndmEKJuzO267bP-duT_Sc9RSUGTF-NeE6mNWcz1ZA8X9aPkGbWvGZsM4eze_OHH97KHuuIBW_dn9Hu7-bfBeiQm21ss/s200/SAM_0200.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718853582832731634" border="0" /></a><br />This is the perpetually open closet (there's so much stuff coming out of there that the doors can't actually close, the broken-zippered storage thing where I keep all of our bedding and towels, and the huge pile of stuff on top of the dresser. There's an awesome hand-felted dragon up there, which is currently the protector of the disaster >.<<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-iP2B1CT9lDBVKIpUqlBmpQ3lY4svFuYnjAtvNiA9rMTy-GN0RcdxZF5Th_4WA27dHlfM6UpKtKn5LRqJTwXsevAjv_r7lh2p60vW8UZ0wZTlpZ9VXCnYiEg2eMqwnRRdvLZ0PTvtvuHr/s1600/SAM_0203.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 112px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-iP2B1CT9lDBVKIpUqlBmpQ3lY4svFuYnjAtvNiA9rMTy-GN0RcdxZF5Th_4WA27dHlfM6UpKtKn5LRqJTwXsevAjv_r7lh2p60vW8UZ0wZTlpZ9VXCnYiEg2eMqwnRRdvLZ0PTvtvuHr/s200/SAM_0203.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718853591286969218" border="0" /></a><br />And this is next to my bed, where everything tends to fall or be thrown. And a little bit of the never-used crib. It's only really up to show off the awesome bumpers and quilt that my mother made. I'm actually perversely proud of the fact that it hasn't become a place to hang or dump things.<br /><br />I've really gotten lax. Sure, River has a great play area, but our room is a disaster. There are things piled on every easily accessible surface, while those that take a little more work to get to are completely bare! And I KNOW River prefers cleanliness. She was the kid who insisted on throwing away the holiday wrappings before playing with her new toys!Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-28769393970053171972012-03-11T22:35:00.001-05:002012-03-11T22:39:43.670-05:00Stretch Marks!<a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s320x320/430049_320208974704314_165752066816673_928043_1583635182_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 220px;" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s320x320/430049_320208974704314_165752066816673_928043_1583635182_n.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>This picture makes me SO Happy! I have (at least outwardly) been so proud of my stretch marks. I mean, I know my body has changed a lot, and that makes me self-conscious, especially when being sexual, but I really feel like my stretch marks are these awesome battle scars. They show how much my body is capable of, and that's a lot!<br /><br />Still, when getting down and dirty, it's hard to get myself to think that saggy boobs and tummy are things that make me stronger...Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-49362626698852666882012-03-06T23:44:00.001-06:002012-03-06T23:45:25.274-06:00Today was one of those days where nothing was going right.<br /><br />I spent most of the day feeling like I just needed to cry and get it all out,<br />but I couldn't manage to get a moment alone,<br />so I never got a chance.Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-81272491642812250392012-03-04T22:41:00.002-06:002012-03-04T22:53:04.425-06:00Sometimes I think I should wear random band-aids on me all the time,<br /><br />River likes to point at them, say 'owwie', and give them kisses.Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-26045949943851898422012-02-27T21:21:00.005-06:002012-02-27T21:54:26.317-06:00Play AreaSo, to make a long-ish story really really short, I got fired yesterday via TEXT MESSAGE! Anyways, I was expecting to work today, so I had nothing planned and didn't want to leave the house for fear of spending any money. Thanks to that, I finally got to check off one of my blog to-do's, and put together a little tour of River's play area!<br /><br />For those of you (if anyone actually reads this) who follow my life, I'm currently living at my parents' house. I've been here since December 2010, when my life fell apart thanks to my soon-to-be ex-husband. I'm being blunt and honest when I say that my parents are not very child-friendly people. They are quiet, clean, scheduled people and children are often none of those things. This is why they only had one, and this is why it's been very hard living at home again. Their constraints always manage to make me feel like a teenager again. I just want to argue, yell, and do stupid things in the name of rebellion.<br /><br />Anyways, all of that aside, here is the tour via collages made on Photobucket.com, sorry for the repeated picture :/<br /><br /><a href="http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg579/SquirrelyMama/SAM_0128-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 338px; height: 997px;" src="http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg579/SquirrelyMama/SAM_0128-1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>After much arguing over there being ANY child toys in common space, they finally relinquished a small corner of the living room under the condition that the toys were to be kept out of sight unless they are currently in use. My grandmother had given me an awesome old shelving unit with these yellowed, cracked bins. Two of the bins were salvageable, but I'm glad to have the shelves free for other things. There is also a toybox and a dress-up chest.<br /><br />On the top of the organizer there are three bins from Ikea with some of their circus toys in them. I love toys that foster creative imagining! The book I referenced in my last post (Your Brain on Childhood) talked about finding toys that are 80% child and 20% toy. This means no talking flashing plastic crap that tells a child what to do or what is happening. For example, a keyboard should play what keys are pressed, not a prerecorded tune. The circus set is a little further towards 60%/40% since it dictates that they are members of a circus, but it's still more about the child's imagination than the toy.<br /><br />Also on top is an owl play clock (an awesome estate-sale find) and River's one-year book from winkflash.com <br /><br />(The bins are labeled: Coloring Supplies, Cards, Felt Food, Musical Instruments, Small Stuffed Toys, Alphabet Blocks, Ring Stacker & Shape Sorter, and Blocks.)<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg579/SquirrelyMama/SAM_0120-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 661px; height: 1000px;" src="http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg579/SquirrelyMama/SAM_0120-1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Living with the parents is certainly not all bad. My mother salvaged the needlework on the dressup bin and gave the bin and some costumes to River as a Hanukkah/Christmas gift this year. She also had the toy box in the basement, full of fabric, and gave it to me to use for River (and also as part of her quest to clean out the basement and get rid of a lot of fabric). She painted lizards on the back and bottom.<br /><br />I love that River is still too small to get into the toy box on her own. It lets me hide special toys for when she's getting tired of what she has access to, and also gives me a place to dump things that don't otherwise have a well-labeled bin to call its own.<br /><br /><a href="http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg579/SquirrelyMama/SAM_0112-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 558px; height: 999px;" src="http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg579/SquirrelyMama/SAM_0112-1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Of course, while taking pictures, River decided that it was a good time to play with all the toys I had just cleaned up :) She also demanded to wear the wings that normally hang on the trellis with my leafy wings. I think Elmo pants, a strange Japanese padded shirt from the Salvation Army, and monarch wings are the coolest!<br /><br />At the top right she's riding her awesome rolling bumble bee (another resale find), and on the bottom she's decided that playing with a plastic tube she found in the garbage and a magnet are way more fun than all the awesome toys she has. I agree.<br /><br /><a href="http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg579/SquirrelyMama/SAM_0138-1-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 517px; height: 995px;" src="http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg579/SquirrelyMama/SAM_0138-1-1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>After some spinning, getting frustrated with the wings, and then vacuuming with the popper vacuum, it was time for some art! Also, I know it's kind of cheap, but I love this effect :) Also, since the paper was so big and she didn't want the box of crayons on top of it, she had to keep getting up and walking back and forth to get crayons.<br /><br />Next on my tour list is a tour of my bedroom... once it stops looking like a bomb went off in here. It's really horrible, but I have all of my necessary possessions (other than food) stuffed into one room, so it's a bit cramped.Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-28662055106249458382012-02-24T14:53:00.006-06:002012-02-24T15:04:21.238-06:00Pictures!!!<a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/401232_10100295567093299_32809373_44411614_1307210688_n.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 569px; height: 321px;" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/401232_10100295567093299_32809373_44411614_1307210688_n.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />After my camera dying slightly and my long-term dissatisfaction with its picture quality, I finally caved in and bought a new camera.<br /><br />Know what this means?<br /><br />PICTURES!<br /><br />River is 20 months old<br /><br /><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/422772_10100294896766639_32809373_44408875_144334772_n.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 396px; height: 701px;" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/422772_10100294896766639_32809373_44408875_144334772_n.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>She loves making some silly faces! This one is her "boob face"... according to her. yeah.<br /><br />Not that you can see much of the background, but these pictures were taken at <a href="http://www.familygroundscafe.com/">Family Grounds Cafe</a> in Chicago, IL, and <a href="http://www.nibblesplaycafe.com/">Nibbles Play Cafe</a> in Wheeling, IL. They are some of our favorite places!<br /><br />I'm a big fan of free play time and think that it's more important for child development than most people give it credit for.<br /><br />(I really need to do a book review of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Childhood-Unexpected-Classrooms/dp/B006ZI2KDG">Your Brain on Childhood</a>, by Gabrielle Principe, it was great! And a review of the two places that the pics were taken.... I should start a todo list)Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-52889211245126429772012-02-24T14:37:00.004-06:002012-02-24T14:48:31.453-06:00TV, Attempt to Slow Down, and the Increasing Need to Leave the House!I've been keeping River and myself very busy lately! Every day has been filled with either working, errands, or adventures. We've done something involving considerable (2 or more hours in the car) driving every weekend for the past six or more weeks.<br /><br />This weekend I wanted some time at home without any plans, so I purposefully left Friday and Saturday completely blank in my planner (other than a reminder that I need to do laundry, which is currently sitting downstairs being forgotten about >.< ). I'm regretting it!<br /><br />River's obsession with Sesame Street has led to every moment at home being a battle to get her away from the TV. I can either give in and get things done with the time that she spends zombified, or I can fight her.<br /><br />To give her credit, she's not a total zombie. Yes, sometimes she gets that glazed look in her eyes where I can tell that her brain has stopped working, but very often she's up in front of the TV dancing or pointing to body parts or otherwise "interacting" with Elmo and the other characters.<br /><br />I've been finding myself, very often today, thinking of errands that I could devise even though they aren't completely necessary or of places we could go just for a change of scenery and a bit more separation from the TV. I think we might be going out today...Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-18360143804411962792012-02-12T09:13:00.003-06:002012-02-12T09:17:58.754-06:00My Little PerformerRiver seems to have gotten a lot of her father's personality traits. Normally, I would attribute that to nurture, but her father took a nice 7 month break from being a parent (though, to give him credit, he is now reemerging as, if not a parent, a sort of uncle-figure).<br /><br />It's so strange to see her start being loud and silly to get a person's attention. She loves having every person in a room watch her. She's purposefully silly and loud and fantastic.<br /><br />I'm just glad that I can see these traits as something I loved in her father instead of just reminding me of the pain he caused.Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-63415218127742706922012-02-09T22:55:00.001-06:002012-02-09T22:56:28.698-06:00V-DayMy daughter has a valentine.<br /><br />I don't.<br /><br />Maybe I'll ask Elmo.Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-18477174915931223452012-02-09T21:12:00.001-06:002012-02-09T21:13:39.140-06:00How ironic...River was just gifted an Elmo book...<br /><br />See previous post.Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-19686404853315461042012-02-05T21:20:00.004-06:002012-02-05T21:35:13.042-06:00Why we DO NOT buy Elmo books.I posted earlier about TV rules, which included a lot about how obsessed River is with Sesame Street, Elmo in particular. Not only does she ask for Elmo whenever she wants to watch TV, we also have a little plush Elmo (surprisingly hard to find when shopping amongst all of the plastic moving talking singing Elmos). This Elmo comes everywhere with us, and I've even been forced to nurse it more times than I'd like to admit.<br /><br />Today we went to a big-name book store to exchange one of our late Hanukkah presents and was completely unsuccessful. The trip turned into a huge battle between River pointing out <span style="font-style: italic;">every single</span> Elmo or Sesame Street related product, some from across the store (at least I know her eyesight is good), and me trying my hardest not to buy any of these products.<br /><br />As far as branding goes, I don't mind Sesame Street so much. The show tends to be educational, doesn't include a ton of fast flashing scene changes (which can be hard for young minds to keep up with but doesn't let their attention leave it), and according to their commercial they put all the money generated from their products back into producing Sesame Street in a ton of other countries.<br /><br />But what I don't want is an Elmo book. Let me explain:<br /><ul><li>There are plenty of shows on TV, but River only wants Elmo.</li><li>There are plenty of stuffed toys in our house, but River only wants to play with Elmo. </li><li>At the library and stores River can spot Elmo from across a crowded room.</li><li>On the back of her Tag Junior books (a purchase that I am not so proud of) there's a picture of one of their other books, it has Elmo on it, so she points and yells "ELMO!" repeatedly but doesn't bother to open the book.</li><li>She has multiple pairs of pj's, but she only wants to wear the pair that my mother made her that has Elmo on them. (Great way to ensure that your PJ's are her favorite, mom)</li></ul><p>This all leads me to believe that, if I were to let an Elmo book enter our house, that it would be the ONLY book she would read. She would bring it to me night and day, and force me to repeat the book over and over until she had it memorized.</p><p>While an attachment to a certain book would not be the worst thing, I would much rather the attachment come from the story rather than recognition of a certain fuzzy red character.<br /></p>Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-89584142899916508282012-02-05T12:03:00.003-06:002012-02-05T12:11:19.982-06:00TV Rules?I'll admit it; our TV rules have a lot of "if"s in them.<br /><br />The rule is: River gets to watch one episode of Sesame Street or two episodes of Play With Me Sesame per day. Usually she chooses to watch her time first thing in the morning, but when we have a busy day she's watch them on my computer before we go to sleep.<br /><br />However, this isn't always how it works. Some examples of my exceptions to the rule include:<br /><ul><li>When I need to get shit done and I just need River distracted</li><li>When either of us are sick</li><li>When something horrible has happened, and it's my fault, and I feel bad enough that I need to make it up to her</li><li>When I really need to read something and there's no way that I can do it an entertain my daughter at the same time<br /></li><li>When I'm just feeling like a horrible, lazy parent</li></ul><p>River is going to have a hard time learning rules......</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Also: One of River's favorite words is Elmo. She's also been saying Zoe, Cookie Monster, Grover, and (Big) Bird. Now whenever she eats something, she's usually calling herself the (pasta/cookie/yogurt/whatever) monster. It usually comes out sounding like "Pata Monta." Yes, it's adorable, but it also shows how she's been branded!<br /></p>Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-42707210188333847112012-02-03T23:28:00.002-06:002012-02-03T23:31:07.097-06:00I dread the day that I turn River's car seat to face forward...<br /><br />I'll have to stop all of my sneaky chocolate eating...<br /><br />Or share...<br /><br />*gasp*<br /><br />Seriously though, I eat a lot of chocolate while driving. Especially when River is extra cranky.Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-31533162740774737182012-02-02T21:04:00.002-06:002012-02-02T21:07:18.187-06:00Divorce, it never seems to end.I finally saved up enough money to go to a lawyer and have divorce and custody papers drawn up. It <span style="font-style: italic;">seems</span> like things are going to go my way, but it has taken so long to get to this point and it is taking so long to get everything finished that it's driving me nuts-o.<br /><br />Seriously, someone needs to throw me a party once this is all over. I'll even hire a babysitter. >.<Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-66432067475997815662012-01-29T23:56:00.002-06:002012-01-30T00:03:41.477-06:00It has been forever and a half since I've blogged on here, and although I'm pretty sure that no one reads this, I feel like typing :)<br /><br />I've been reading some great blogs lately, namely <a href="http://thebloggess.com">The Bloggess</a> and <a href="http://www.elisabethstone.blogspot.com">Manic Mrs. Stone</a>. The blogs aren't new, but I'm new to reading them. They've convinced me that to have a great blog you need to either be hilarious or have amazing pictures and fantastic insights. I have none of this. I'm not particularly funny (except maybe in physicality), I don't even own a working camera, and I'm not all that insightful. I talk about mundane things from my life and I'm too scared to link friends to my blog for fear of what they might think.<br /><br />Really, I'm lame. Typing this has just reinforced the fact that I'm lame. I'm going to stop now...Charleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04821100492981457764noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-38614467294191729982011-04-05T17:13:00.000-05:002011-04-05T17:13:05.585-05:00When has it been "long enough"?I'm in a weird spot right now. I have been separated from my daughter's father since early December. While he still makes me incredibly angry, I am starting to finally actually look around and see that there are other people out there who might... you know... be worth my time. <br />
<br />
I'm torn... I really want to be back in the world, meeting people and going on dates, but I'm not sure how much I'm ready for.<br />
<br />
Most of the anger at my ex is over his continued lying and the fact that he consistently chooses his own comfort and desires over even <i>seeing </i>his daughter. Yeah, it's been almost 3 weeks since he's last seen her, and he's disappeared for two other weeks before this. One of those weeks he told me that he was on a trip to 'contemplate his mistakes'... just more lies.<br />
<br />
<br />
Still, I worry that his ability to effect me emotionally means that I'm not ready to consider anyone else in my life.<br />
<br />
It's also hard because River is so constantly attached to me. It's not like I can leave her with her grandparents and expect her to even be able to nap, she <i>needs</i> to breastfeed to sleep. While I would expect anyone I dated to be ok with River, I couldn't ask someone to <i>always</i> have her around.. the relationship needs to be about the two adults first, I'm not looking for a father for her or something. <br />
<br />
In happier news: River has an uncle. A friend of mine who is surprisingly amazing with her decided that he's her uncle. I'm cool with that :-)SquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-40741682973767193952011-04-01T19:03:00.000-05:002011-04-01T19:03:57.770-05:00Book Review: Twelve by Twelve (cont.)Recently I <a href="http://squirrelymama.blogspot.com/2011/03/book-review-twelve-by-twelve.html">posted </a>about the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Twelve-One-Room-Cabin-Beyond-American/dp/1577318978">Twelve by Twelve</a>*; a one-room cabin off the grid & beyond the American dream, by <a href="http://williampowersbooks.com/index.htm">William Powers</a>. When I had first posted, I was about 90 pages into the 260 page book, but I was loving it so much and the book was so relevant to my dreams of having a tiny self-sufficient home. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/Twelve-by-Twelve.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/Twelve-by-Twelve.jpg" width="207" /></a></div><br />
One of the concepts that stood out to me most was the idea that we vote with our money. Specifically, it's the concept that the decision to spend money in certain ways has much larger impacts than just the exchange of money for goods. A good example of this is spending money on something hand made from conscientiously farmed Alpaca wool and paying a fair price versus buying something that was sewn in a sweat shop where the laborers do not get a fair wage and the product is made with possibly toxic ingredients.<br />
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I've read about this concept in a couple other places, but this book talked about how the author really worked to change his spending habits and his own battle with the increase in price for goods that are less damaging to the environment and the places they originate from. It was very nice to hear more than just the theory, but to see actual examples of how it was put into action. On the other hand, I think he was very lucky to have free-range farmers living just across the street.<br />
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Anyways, to wrap everything up, since this is supposed to be a book review instead of a book report, I really liked the book. The author's voice was engaging and fun to read, and while there may not have been an identifiable conflict-resolution story line, the book did keep me interested and thinking. <br />
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*Though I link to the book on Amazon.com, I highly encourage purchasing the book from an independent retailer or borrowing it from your local library.<br />
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also, I'm thinking about starting a parallel blog for reviews, that way I can share it with family and friends and still keep this blog a little more anonymous. Any thoughts?SquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-38513135162896754132011-03-28T15:28:00.000-05:002011-03-28T15:28:53.884-05:00I'm so tired.I keep meaning to post a wrap-up review of the 12x12 book, but I can't seem to make myself think about anything productive right now.<br />
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This whole divorce thing is really getting the best of me. I hesitate to show any weakness or really talk about it because of the whole mess surrounding it. I'm terrified that something I say can be used against me; that even telling the truth in a public way will get me in trouble.<br />
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I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted all the time, keeping this all inside of myself and acting like this well-adjusted, perfect mother. I push it all down in part to not break down in front of my daughter, but also in an effort to not make my friends uncomfortable.<br />
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I've settled into living at my parents' house, even unpacking some boxes, because I've come to terms with not having any other options. I've been passed over for jobs, I can't seem to save enough money to get myself anywhere, I'm living on the bare minimum. Even my etsy efforts have totally floundered; I haven't made a single sale.<br />
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I can't believe how much my ex still has the ability to get to me. He drops off the face of the planet, refusing to speak to me or see River just so that he won't have to deal with any uncomfortable topic I might bring up. It suits me fine to not have him around, but I know that's unfair for our daughter. I keep finding out about more lies that he's told me, and I can't believe how much it still hurts.<br />
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He talks a lot about being 'co-parents for River's sake', but it seems to boil down to me being honest and telling him about everything we're doing and him continuing to lie to me. When we're together and he's visiting River, he reverts right back into the overly-familiar relationship mode, and it's so hard to push out of that and keep everything at arm's length even though I KNOW he's still lying to me. I'm so tired.<br />
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I'm so tired of holding it together for River's sake. I'm so tired of being civil because I'm scared of what he could do to me if he really took legal action. I'm so tired of putting on a happy face for my family who are visibly and vocally uncomfortable about any emotional reaction I have. I'm so tired of getting myself up and dressed and out of the house every day because sitting at home means that I dwell. I'm so tired of going to therapy and having to talk through how 'wronged' I feel. I'm so tired of crying. I'm so tired of this aching feeling that hasn't left me for the past 4 months.<br />
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I have plenty of great things in my life, but everything seems to be overshadowed by this exhaustion.SquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-80122020632527615622011-03-26T14:59:00.000-05:002011-03-26T14:59:46.750-05:00Geek and Gamer Girl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://1.gvt0.com/vi/_eJmYKN_1QE/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_eJmYKN_1QE&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_eJmYKN_1QE&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><br />
This song has been something of an anthem of mine lately. I'm a proud geeky gamer girl, and tonight I'm going to play D&D with my new group. They play twice a month, and one of the other member is a fellow La Leche League mom, so they're really awesome about me having River. It's nice, since the divorce has left me with River constantly and no extra funds for babysitters or anything. <br />
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The group also does a podcast before beginning to play, and it can be seen here: <a href="http://lordsoftyr.com/">Lords of Tyr</a>. Gaming should be starting some time between 6 and 7<br />
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I've resurrected an old character of mine that I never really got to see to fruition for this group. The simplest description I've come up with for her is that she's the closes an elf can get to a tree. She has bark armor, greenish dreadlocked hair, and uses a longbow.SquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-33341790875229571852011-03-26T14:51:00.000-05:002011-03-26T14:51:31.769-05:00Green Thumb?I'll admit it. I can't grow anything. I touch a plant, and it dies. Also, I have a cat that eats anything green and living. Thanks to the divorce, I don't have my cat right now, so that's one thing down... So I figured, why not? Most of my dreams include at least a little garden where I'm growing my own food, so it's probably a good idea to try my hand at planting now before I stake any future on it.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRRSrElRQM_Kf4ZaR1U62A1iEoC_Ld_LcJXFoG5ZRHKoJ4GPWeKa_tLq_DF6p5znlwSO7XOEg3grEmezA6VYh9sggLCOTDbAliezO4l9RPWN41mlBQxbiFA6-YfCVWHeT2K4MXb87KATbu/s1600/100_0839.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRRSrElRQM_Kf4ZaR1U62A1iEoC_Ld_LcJXFoG5ZRHKoJ4GPWeKa_tLq_DF6p5znlwSO7XOEg3grEmezA6VYh9sggLCOTDbAliezO4l9RPWN41mlBQxbiFA6-YfCVWHeT2K4MXb87KATbu/s320/100_0839.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mini greenhouse</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I already have seeds sprouting for some chamomile, and some lavender is planted but hasn't sprouted yet. My mother was nice enough to lend me a mini greenhouse to put by the back window. While it's a bit late for sprouting seeds for outdoor planting, I'm planning on starting a nice pot garden of herbs and tea plants. I have some more seeds that I'm waiting for another nice-weather day to plant.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij8OF2Xxi1LL-J5TOlupDpDcSKcqsk1J6gY-5TvoisI_yJO4uyVYQ0ZW69wFbdmF1In44BhxgDYEBc-l3qIwIhggLR_Yni3UurgS7iacV4ugPIu3SWpoHLziCH5BXh4ccECJ8aP4fmNQks/s1600/100_0840.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij8OF2Xxi1LL-J5TOlupDpDcSKcqsk1J6gY-5TvoisI_yJO4uyVYQ0ZW69wFbdmF1In44BhxgDYEBc-l3qIwIhggLR_Yni3UurgS7iacV4ugPIu3SWpoHLziCH5BXh4ccECJ8aP4fmNQks/s320/100_0840.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lavender on left, Chamomile on right, and an avocado pit in the middle</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I even planted a random avocado pit from an avocado I tried to feed River. She didn't like it, and I'm not a fan of avocados, but I had it on hand when I was planting, and decided it'd be fun to throw it in a yogurt container and see if it grew.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4hQ_yVo7fSJSsB6eorUkR7bGwAHRcDA2qnzLSvgsUxfyJnQV6aiYHKpc6G7Hit9M5Z2svQiR_K9fx4ypQnsv5K3Xm7KwPRGofqwHnTAMKKzh5e3qzlwnAc6PAeWDb9So3kPKbkV4ubddQ/s1600/100_0842.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4hQ_yVo7fSJSsB6eorUkR7bGwAHRcDA2qnzLSvgsUxfyJnQV6aiYHKpc6G7Hit9M5Z2svQiR_K9fx4ypQnsv5K3Xm7KwPRGofqwHnTAMKKzh5e3qzlwnAc6PAeWDb9So3kPKbkV4ubddQ/s320/100_0842.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Clover and a couple other plants</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I also got some already grown plants from the hardware store. I just need to repot them into some nice eco-plastic containers I got and they'll be going around my bedroom to freshen the air and help bring some living energy into the room.<br />
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At some point, if I even get around to cleaning my room and making it look nice enough, I'll even be submitting a "living in one room" post to <a href="http://www.offbeathome.com/">Offbeat Home</a>SquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-18146369805051059112011-03-23T12:55:00.000-05:002011-03-23T12:55:12.963-05:00Book Review: Twelve by Twelve Normally I would wait until I finished a book to write a book review, but I find myself so engrossed in this book that I feel the need to share my journey through it. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Twelve-One-Room-Cabin-Beyond-American/dp/1577318978">Twelve by Twelve: A one-room cabin off the grid & beyond the American dream</a>*, by <a href="http://williampowersbooks.com/index.htm">William Powers</a>.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://williampowersbooks.com/images/12by12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://williampowersbooks.com/images/12by12.png" /></a></div><br />
Recently, I posted about my dreams (<a href="http://squirrelymama.blogspot.com/2011/03/i-am-dreamer.html">I am a Dreamer</a>). Now, please understand that I am a compulsive researcher. If I'm stressed about something, I research it. If I feel like something I want is out of reach, I research it. If I'm bored, I research. Unfortunately, this only works when I don't NEED to research (give me a paper to write, and I'll put off any sort of research until the very last minute).<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/12x12Exterior2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/12x12Exterior2.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exterior of 12 x 12 house</td></tr>
</tbody></table> Increasingly my dreams include living in a tiny, self-sustainable home of some kind, whether it's a mobile home or a small permaculture alpaca farm. I've read a few books specifically about green building and living in small homes as a way to minimize our ecological footprint. They just don't seem to fulfill whatever need it is that is driving me to research the subject.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/12x12Interior.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/12x12Interior.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Interior layout of 12 x 12 house</td></tr>
</tbody></table> Then I found this book, about a man who met a woman who lived in a tiny, 12' x 12' cabin and was helping to restore some of the land around her through the use of permaculture.<br />
<blockquote><u><b>Permaculture</b></u> is an approach to designing human settlements and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agriculture" title="Agriculture">agricultural</a> systems that are modeled on the relationships found in natural <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecology" title="Ecology">ecologies</a>.<br />
Permaculture is sustainable land use design. This is based on ecological and biological principles, often using patterns that occur in nature to maximise effect and minimise work. Permaculture aims to create stable, productive systems that provide for human needs, harmoniously integrating the land with its inhabitants. -<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Permaculture">Wikipedia</a><br />
</blockquote><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/12x12_map.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/12x12_map.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Map of permaculture around the 12 x 12 house</td></tr>
</tbody></table> The book tells of the man's internal journey while living in the 12 x 12 house over a period of time. The reflections about American society and how the 'American Dream' has destroyed not only our own ecosystem, but the ecosystem of the entire planet is incredibly well written and researched. The author gives a great view into his thought processes as he changed his ideals and realized that the change needed to accomplish his life goals needed to begin at home.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/12x12Exterior1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://williampowersbooks.com/media-downloads/12x12Exterior1.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exterior of 12 x 12 house</td></tr>
</tbody></table> Keep in mind that I'm only 90 pages into the 260 page book. If I remember, I'll update again when I've finished it, but I make no promises.<br />
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* though I link to the book on Amazon.com, I encourage all readers to order the book from an independent retailer or check it out from their library. Amazon simply provides a good website where you can read reviews and find used books.<br />
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note: all images are used without express permission from the media section of <a href="http://williampowersbooks.com/">http://williampowersbooks.com</a>.<br />
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also note: I love my library!SquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-43050125097821091052011-03-22T13:38:00.000-05:002011-03-22T13:38:26.762-05:00Library<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQYp6K9ZJLSrh9P5gf7_REcFrwrPlr4u-vnMu3vwIsYsBRQ-nMHP4Nz80nw9k8bF1OR33zInNOz35yba8r-US5pXCTR0IuDL-fTIPzR0XEGbZzEdXk9PMBH1ehAv8dvSGZYpKjf2GGbvqo/s1600/100_0831.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQYp6K9ZJLSrh9P5gf7_REcFrwrPlr4u-vnMu3vwIsYsBRQ-nMHP4Nz80nw9k8bF1OR33zInNOz35yba8r-US5pXCTR0IuDL-fTIPzR0XEGbZzEdXk9PMBH1ehAv8dvSGZYpKjf2GGbvqo/s320/100_0831.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Really pretty mural</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I've said it before, and I'll say it again; <b>I love the library</b>. We end up there at least two times a week, usually more like three or four. We have a routine set for mornings that start with storytime at 10 am. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0ohWs2vykMItVZzmbo4K8x9rAzR55tUFlXTqFxEVo2xSuQycaH1yR4lK4Qu2H2UmK4x2KakO2Qm43SYRQre6wN8PCwMPN866Sz2kMrQWyBXllYbApuaAndMKsf4zZMkkOAATM3U5F-gy5/s1600/100_0828.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0ohWs2vykMItVZzmbo4K8x9rAzR55tUFlXTqFxEVo2xSuQycaH1yR4lK4Qu2H2UmK4x2KakO2Qm43SYRQre6wN8PCwMPN866Sz2kMrQWyBXllYbApuaAndMKsf4zZMkkOAATM3U5F-gy5/s320/100_0828.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Board books = awesome!</td></tr>
</tbody></table> I regularly visit two different library districts, and have schedules for programming at a few others just in case something interesting comes up. We've seen singers, played scrabble, listened to stories, and crafted at libraries.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Vpll6B2H0EB4mlqZp2csQ-HoKnOgV2TaRcUUriQAo2gRKkm3fy7e8KWu6T-5XI6fdsig_03QzSBkJ5lgEzU5iBm06eQWLVrnuQN_Ibf_tNcgIm9Hp-hkL0Bug3yzHrYqdR8x19tbs9TV/s1600/100_0830.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Vpll6B2H0EB4mlqZp2csQ-HoKnOgV2TaRcUUriQAo2gRKkm3fy7e8KWu6T-5XI6fdsig_03QzSBkJ5lgEzU5iBm06eQWLVrnuQN_Ibf_tNcgIm9Hp-hkL0Bug3yzHrYqdR8x19tbs9TV/s320/100_0830.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Giant red comfy couch = win!</td></tr>
</tbody></table> River loves all the toys and watching other kids play. Most of her developmental leaps and bounds have happened after watching other children do something.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBGpXDs-7N14Bv0beBE_fJo3PunCjbekOfAhTJyKxC7JrHowK6omnhnqZX4iSs-HHt5EsdH_IC3FJqVq1jLYDoX-vYiDczChuw2s6NalY7_atwtA_s3DQqcb0JnNuGPWeNOtVA0bGFLYvW/s1600/100_0827.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBGpXDs-7N14Bv0beBE_fJo3PunCjbekOfAhTJyKxC7JrHowK6omnhnqZX4iSs-HHt5EsdH_IC3FJqVq1jLYDoX-vYiDczChuw2s6NalY7_atwtA_s3DQqcb0JnNuGPWeNOtVA0bGFLYvW/s320/100_0827.JPG" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">River loves the toys!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>After story time and a little bit of play time in the kids' area, River is usually pretty exhausted. I'll walk around with her for a little while, usually picking out new books for me (one fiction and one nonfiction), and then we'll settle in on some comfy seats in nonfiction. We have a regular little spot in front of huge floor-to-ceiling windows that look out on a nature area. River will either snuggle in right away for nursing and napping, or she'll lay on my lap, gazing out the window at the birds and little lake. Since it's in nonfiction, it's usually pretty quiet, and I get a good amount of reading done. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTrC8VmNPoW9x7QN-OZO9p99Wv0QQRCWrBop8Exi0VawBkH1ZClWda02RsrGeVoUFY5l4GNrWzNkmc0LKqA4IgVOKebNyeHX_pW9JeNh3rk8ZUGrWRrvDNonJOzXFeWMZDJR-mtI0MRnpj/s1600/100_0835.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTrC8VmNPoW9x7QN-OZO9p99Wv0QQRCWrBop8Exi0VawBkH1ZClWda02RsrGeVoUFY5l4GNrWzNkmc0LKqA4IgVOKebNyeHX_pW9JeNh3rk8ZUGrWRrvDNonJOzXFeWMZDJR-mtI0MRnpj/s320/100_0835.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">River is hamming it up after a boobie-filled library nap time.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>I have to say, since I've been living at home again, it's been nice to have a place to go out and laze about at. Distance to a library will definitely be a deciding factor in any future living arrangement decisions, this 20 minute drive I have now is too far! I need to be able to walk there. <br />
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Other library posts:<br />
<ul><li><a href="http://squirrelymama.blogspot.com/2011/03/bullet-points-fun.html">Bullet points = FUN!</a></li>
<li><a href="http://squirrelymama.blogspot.com/2011/03/going-back-to-work.html">Going Back To Work</a><div class="cssButtonOuter"><div class="cssButtonMiddle"><div class="cssButtonInner"> </div></div></div></li>
<li><a href="http://squirrelymama.blogspot.com/2011/03/book-review-elusive-moose.html">Book Review: Elusive Moose</a></li>
</ul>Anyways, I just started a diaper service, so I need to go buy a trash can or something that can fit the bag they give me with the diapers :-) Adventure to Ikea!SquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-30640156890258378692011-03-19T23:02:00.000-05:002011-03-19T23:02:08.431-05:00I am a DreamerThat's right, I'm a dreamer. A big-time, lots of life goals, most of them unattainable, dreamer. I research and plan and even build mock-ups in my Sims 2 Double Delux video game.<br />
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I have an entire tea cafe built and operating in my head. I know where I would source the tea from, how I would decorate the walls, and even have some ideas about location (though more research would definitely be necessary in that department). It would be a bit of <a href="http://www.teavana.com/">Teavana</a>, plus some <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=16U&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=dollop+coffee&fb=1&gl=us&hq=dollop+coffee&hnear=Buffalo+Grove,+IL&cid=8970425619229749113">Dollop Coffee</a>. All tea would be brewed loose leave in cast iron pots, but the environment would be part asian influence and part local coffee shop vibe. <br />
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In my dreams (literally, while I'm sleeping) I'm living on an alpaca farm with River. We're living in a tiny little farm house with a huge barn and lots of bright sunny land. She's about 3, running around in huge rubber rain boots and hugging the fluffy alpacas. When I was in labor with River, my imaginary farm was my happy place.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.itsnature.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/alpaca-3052411.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.itsnature.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/alpaca-3052411.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is an Alpaca. They are made of Awesome.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/ABPub/2008/12/10/2008492716.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/ABPub/2008/12/10/2008492716.jpg" width="210" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In case you were wondering if people actually built houses on flatbed trailers, here's a picture of one! Seriously made of Awesome!</td></tr>
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I'm seriously planning a solar-powered trailer home to live in full-time. I'm not sure if it'll be a house built onto a trailer bed or a gutted and refurnished trailer (like one of those giant silver Twinkies). Everything would be in miniature, very compact, and every space would be used. I'd get rid of most of our posessions and live on the bare minimum. Our home would be wherever we parked, and if we got bored, we'd move.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.cityoftroymontana.com/yurt/yurt-outside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="241" src="http://www.cityoftroymontana.com/yurt/yurt-outside.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here's an example of a yurt. It's made of awesome too.</td></tr>
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Other than these, I've also daydreamed about living in a hand-built yurt in the woods, living in a hobbit hole, moving to other countries or at least across this one, owning different businesses, or living off the grid completely. <br />
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Awesome Linkies:<br />
<ul><li><a href="http://www.simondale.net/house/index.htm">A Low Impact Woodland Home</a></li>
<li><a href="http://tinyhouseblog.com/">Tiny House Blog</a></li>
</ul>Right now, having all these dreams is both a good and bad thing. It's good that I have somewhere to go in my head when things are getting too stressful, it's good that I have interests and goals in life and that they're varied and constantly evolving. But it's disheartening that everything seems to hinge on money. There are so many things I'd jump at the ability to do, but can't because of the lack of funds. Even building my own home on wheels would take a way more money that I have or have access to.<br />
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Being a suddenly single mom, with no job, no reliable income, and currently basically 'squatting' at my parents' house is pretty depressing when I stop to think about it. But I'll continue to dream :-)SquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9207580637961511448.post-42956626217134223292011-03-19T13:16:00.000-05:002011-03-19T13:16:43.468-05:00River + Lamby = LOVE!In an effort to be able to get a job or even just leave River with someone else for a period of time, I've been trying to get her to bond with an object or a 'lovey'.<br />
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At first I tried carrying, nursing, and napping with a certain crocheted blanket that I made her while I was pregnant and desperate for crafts I could do on top of a giant belly. While she loved being snuggled in a blanky, it held no particular importance for her. I then switched to a fleece blanket, thinking that maybe the crocheted texture was throwing her off and that the crocheted blanket was really too large for her to be lugging around with her when she started going places. She didn't bond to the fleece blanket either.<br />
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I think I assumed that she was going to be a blanky-baby mostly because I was one and because I still love snuggling up with a good blanket. What I don't know, is why I stuck to trying blankets for so long! Seriously, nine months and my brain never said "let's try something else!" I can be so dense sometimes.<br />
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Well, last night, during her 9-11 pm wakeful time, I pulled out one of her particularly adorable stuffed animals, a lamb that isn't much smaller than she is. INSTANT BONDING! Her eyes got all big, she grabbed it by its adorable little ears, and proceeded to kiss it.<br />
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At one point, while nursing River, as she was on her way to dream land, she even grabbed lamby and put him/her/it on my other boob >.< as awkward as it felt to be nursing a stuffed lamb, it was so sweet that she wanted to share nursing boob-time with her new friend. <br />
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Today I've been doing everything I can to keep 'lamby' (my name for it until she's old enough to name it herself) within view. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgIDzKocRsSXkTj1xxOkNj0NTJvaQXosD6GkZAm20lxXuXmFJ3sspczwAm-MGObr-9EFmd2fD62h-igrEOY9P-IFiW8CQR2QFy2LLY0dSDMl254gl3yeDEaH7849_Otj3r8cRXZrweljP6/s1600/100_0826.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgIDzKocRsSXkTj1xxOkNj0NTJvaQXosD6GkZAm20lxXuXmFJ3sspczwAm-MGObr-9EFmd2fD62h-igrEOY9P-IFiW8CQR2QFy2LLY0dSDMl254gl3yeDEaH7849_Otj3r8cRXZrweljP6/s320/100_0826.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">River and Lamby in front of the window</td></tr>
</tbody></table>SquirrelyMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09310932304426257176noreply@blogger.com0